Again by popular demand - until my membership is upgraded you can find Mum's Odd here.

I really wanted to be a Mum
I could sit all day on my bum
I could eat chocolate thro’ the day
And have gadgets with which to play.

But reality is so far from that
As I clean the floor and wash the cat
I pick up toys which dot the house
Then scant around like a panicked mouse.

As I hear the crash and then a cry
I sometimes stop and ask myself why
I left two children in the kitchen alone
When I needed a minute to chat on the phone.

The crystals of sugar now scatter the floor
And my lovely new sugar bowl is no more
The fight is ongoing and getting really rough
Over biscuits, crisps and all that stuff.

I ask, I beg, I plead and then shout
“Stop the fighting and then get out!”
Again the kitchen I now have to clean
Whilst the children look at me as if I’m mean.

I’m clearing up glass and sweeping the floor
When there’s a heavy knock on the front door
So I answer the door with brush in my hand
Covered in sugar like I’d been playing with sand.

The man has come to mend the bedroom floor
So I move the bookcase, bed and much more
The house is trashed again and I wasted my time
Putting the books upright, straight and standing in line.

So down I go again the stairs that I climb
Listening to one child who’d started to whine
The crisps are everywhere and the packet torn
And now I’m too tired to bother to scorn.

So I smile really sweetly as I pick the mess up
Needing something stronger than tea in my cup
When I hear my sweet children shout then cry
I haven’t got the energy to stop and ask “Why?”

It’s so obvious that a blind man could see
As the children turn and start picking on me
I gave one child someone else’s clean shirt
Which is all now totally covered in dirt.

I felt so stupid when I remembered saying
“Just put it on but don’t forget when playing
It’s someone else’s shirt so try to keep it clean
Are you listening to me and understand what I mean?”

I close my eyes and wish myself far away
Hoping the night will come after this day
Before my mind has gone wandering around
To always be lost at a place it can’t be found.

Now the stress is showing on my tired face
And my heart is racing at a much faster pace
I calm myself by taking several deep breaths
And focus my energy on sorting the mess.

I should have listened when my Mum said to me
“Having children isn’t as easy as you think it’ll be”
So in my next life-time I’m thinking I definitely will
Keep myself sane by staying on the pill!!!!

copyright 2006 Pauline Drummie