A true tale of how, back in the swingin' sixties, I earned a hundred pounds (Australian) for writing a jingle about washing machines.

Whenever I hear a jingle on TV, my memory often takes me back to a charming old-style pub in Adelaide (South Australia) called The Buck's Head. During the ‘60s, as its resident pianist, I played background music there to the accompaniment of the Saturday evening lounge bar chatter. Half way through the session I used to hand out books containing lyrics of popular singalong songs and finish off the evening with a singalong “around the piano”. It was a very popular audience participation segment.
  
 Over time I developed personal relationships with many of the regulars. One of these was a young businessman called Roger Lockwood. He owned and managed a business known as The Washing Machine Centre,  located at 284 Hindmarsh Road, Hindmarsh, an Adelaide suburb. 

One evening Roger approached me and asked if I had ever written any commercial jingles. I told him that, in fact, a well-known Sydney pharmaceutical company had once paid me to write jingles promoting one of their key products at the rate of five shillings per piece. My "imperishable rhymes" used to appear above the luggage racks in Sydney trams and buses. He looked thoughtful and then said, "If you can write one for The Washing Machine Centre good enough to use on commercial radio, I'll pay you a hundred quid for it!"  I accepted the offer with barely concealed eagerness and the arrangement was sealed with a handshake.

With a reputation to sustain and a hundred quid to gain, I started writing drafts, most of which finished in the wastepaper basket. Nevertheless, I kept at it in the hope of arousing my muse, but eventually the blasted assignment became an obsession!  I began to dream about washing machines and their benefits to mankind! In fact, I became so engrossed in the idea of producing a seductive jingle that, whether during leisure hours, or working at my day job -as country representative for Berger Paints, -thoughts of making a hundred quid from a jingle about washing machines were regular intruders.

I got into the habit of reciting little rhyming couplets to myself or I would spend my lunch hour reading Alexander Pope's "Essay on Criticism".  To make matters worse, whenever I met Roger Lockwood at the pub, I would mumble something about the jingle being ready soon and then ask him about his wife and kids and whom he thought would win the next Davis Cup!

During this stressful period of my life I still had to work at promoting Berger Paints in country regions. My territory covered a area part of South Australia, including Port Pirie and Whyalla. On the way back to Adelaide from Whyalla one fateful Friday afternoon I had only two more calls to make, one of which involved an overnight stay in the small town of Burra Burra. I use the word "fateful" because that was the day on which I was able to expel the writer's block.

The night was particularly cold and miserable and, as I drove towards Burra Burra, my car was bombarded with sleet and hail that alternated with fierce gusts of wind and rain. So, to take my mind off the unfriendly elements, I reflected on some dormant ideas about the jingle that would, hopefully, make me richer by a hundred of the best. For the rest of the journey through the clamour of nature’s inclemency, I found myself composing, decomposing and recomposing my masterpiece until, about ten minutes from the Burra Burra pub, I knew that I had got it as right as it would ever be.

Back in Adelaide, Friday evening: I looked the jingle over until I was red in the eyes.  I finally went to bed and slept as one who had completed the task to the best of his ability.



The following evening I commenced my gig playing soft background music. Roger and his wife arrived just as I started handing out the singalong books. He greeted me warmly and asked, "How's the jingle coming along?" Without answering him directly, I grabbed the microphone and spoke to the crowd: "Hi folks!  I want you to listen to this jingle I've written for Roger."

I then sat at the piano and after a short, lively intro began to premiere "The Washing Machine Jingle". Several encores later, the crowd started to sing along with me and found enjoyment in belting out the jingle and clapping to its rhythm.  Roger was so delighted with this reaction that he pulled out a cheque book there and then, wrote a cheque for one hundred pounds and handed it to me.

The jingle not only featured later as the theme of The Washing Machine Centre's radio commercial, it became, by popular demand, part of the singalong program at the Buck's Head for many months afterwards.

After the passage of so many years the lyrics might seem a bit dated without the melody, but the following sample may communicate the theme to you:

If you wanna buy a washer,
A washer that is posher,
We've got washers galore
At two-eight-four.

I haven't seen or heard of Roger Lockwood for many years. I doubt that he's marketing washing machines nowadays, but I wouldn't be surprised if, every now and then, he finds himself humming the Washing Machine Jingle.

©Patrick Talty 2004