Years ago, a friend commented, “You must really get writers’ cramps, signing your name in books for all those people.”

Yeah. Right.

I’d learned in Honolulu that autographing my book more than twice in an hour was a rare thing. In Barnes & Noble or Borders, (which still existed), I could usually smile at the approaching person knowing they would probably ask for directions to the restroom. No writing involved. Someone wanting to chat about the book was a real treat, and if they actually bought it, that was glorious!

Here in Harrisonburg, Virginia, where this snowbird has spent the past eight months, I’ve had three coffee shop book signings. Tate Publishing, my co-conspirator, sent e-mails to several coffee shops describing the book they had published for me, and they recommended that I follow up.

Tate had tried to get me and my book into coffee shops in Hawaii the year before, but the shops were not interested. Harrisonburg, being a college town of several universities and colleges, and filled with bright students and brighter professors, just might be a fertile field for literature. My son-in-law, Doug, a techie sort of guy, made me posters to put up at the coffee shops and around town a bit. Book in hand, I approached four of the shop managers. Three were downright enthusiastic. A week later, I eagerly, albeit a bit nervously too, approached the first signing.

At Greenberry’s Coffee Shop, the manager seated me at a prominent table and gave free drinks to Doug and me, coffee for him and some exotic kind of tea for me. I spread out the books and also displayed some tribal clothing and crafts from Thailand to catch attention for my other award-winning book, “WHAT THE WITCH DOCTOR TAUGHT ME: Shining God’s Light into Thailand’s Dark Tribal Villages.”

Several students were having serious conversations while others were deep into their laptops. The upshot was, I sold one book, a copy of “MINGLING WITH MUSLIMS: Making Friends and Teaching English in Bangladesh.” Turns out the buyer was teaching a course in comparative religion and was interested to know my approach to the subject.

I did have some fun conversations with a couple of other people, but the two hours passed slowly. As we were packing up, I handed a copy of my book to the manager as a thank-you, and asked how I should sign it.

“Oh, just sign your name,” she said. “After I read it, I’ll donate it to my church library.”

Wow! Super! I won’t get rich, but several people will eventually read it and I’ll get my ideas out there. Yes!

A week later, the second signing went in similar fashion. Black Sheep Coffee Shop was a busier place than Greenberry’s, with a mixed crowd of college-age students, slender, stylishly-dressed in tight colorful leggings and sloppy sweaters, and several adults--who may have been students too, the way the world is now. I doubled my sales this time. Two! Count them, two! One to a student who was taking a related class; she was stoked because her class had taken a field trip to a mosque the week before. The other sale to a woman whose son is teaching English in China. She said a friend was traveling there the following week and would hand carry the book to him. Awesome! My book will actually go to an American teacher working in China. I couldn’t ask for anything better than that!

The third signing was totally different. Earth and Tea Café is owned and managed by a family from the Dominican Republic, and they bought copies of both books the day I went to their café and booked the event. We billed it as a “book event” because I wanted to do more than just sit at a table and try to look engaged with my surroundings. Juan was ecstatic that I would sign the books for him. He collects books. It really boosted my ego that he valued the autographs so highly.

On the day of the event, about every half hour, Juan introduced me and I read a few pages from one of the books. The people were quiet and attentive. Thinking back, I believe I should have directly engaged the audience more by asking, “Who has traveled to Asia?” “Which country?”, etc.

When a couple of women came in with their brood of school-age kids, I scooped up the two hand puppets I’d used in the tribes in Thailand and chatted with the kids and let them try out the puppets. They were enchanted. Great kids.

We’d scheduled the event for 3 to 5pm, the last two hours they are usually open. As the café began to clear out, Juan came and sat with me. He had many, many questions about my life and how I came to be in Asia. His wife came over, too, but she was busier with dish washing and didn’t hang out with us. She is the reader in the family, though, and had already dived into the books they had bought two weeks before.

“Great books,” she said. “I’m loving them!”

Another family reader showed up: their daughter, maybe 10 or 12 years old. (It’s so hard to tell people’s ages nowadays.) I told them that Tate Publishing is processing two more of my stories, this time for children. “THE LEI DAY PRINCESS” should be out about April, and “MOUSE RULES!” will be available some time next summer. I assured them, “I’ll be back in Virginia by then.” And Juan smiled, “you didn’t sell any books, but at least you’re getting your name out there. Let us know when you come back.”

Yeah. No writer’s cramps with these three signings. One sale, two sales, and zero sales. But free drinks and stimulating conversation. It beats sitting at home staring at my computer!

www.authorsden.com/elaineolelomasters