On dealing with pictures and sounds in my head

Warning: The following could very well be perceived by some as the inane ramblings of a crazy person. If you choose to continue reading... Remember:

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED =)


Once again, I've had another "Star Wars" moment. There was a "Disturbance in The Force". While I can occasionally be quite philosophical, with this I am not. I always think of these occurrences in those terms. Ever since I saw the movie for the first time in 1977, I've associated the insights I get to Lord Vader saying those words. I don't remember how I thought of them before that, since it's happened for as long as I can remember. Maybe I've been able to associate it with fiction and deal with it better; I've often been in denial about what I feel or sense.

Today, it was a "Good Morning" text message on my phone. I've never picked up a vibration from a txt before, so this is a new one on me. When I was later told that yes, there was something wrong, I was in between relieved that I had known and a little scared that a whole new avenue of weirdness might be opening up before me. It's probably only because I've known the sender of the message for so long, and we made a big psychic impression on each other way back when - I don't know for sure. Last night, I felt something was not right with her, but this morning I didn't feel anything. Until the txt.

OK, so all of you "black and white - no grey", "just the facts, ma'am" types are shaking your heads and thinking, "tsk, tsk". That's cool. You can click your way on to another part of the web, I understand. I don't profess to have anything special. I guess I'm just in-tune with something that most humans ignore. It's not something that I've always accepted, and I've often ignored it. I've almost always kept it to myself. But it's here, inside me. All of my life I've lived with it. Only recently have I come to understand it slightly better than I had previously.

There's a massive amount of energy in the world. Much of it seems to be generated by living beings. However, a lot is from natural things: Rocks, plants, clouds. Earth herself is something of a giant frequency generator. The moon, Luna, sends energy our way that when you open up to it, can sometimes be overwhelming. But humans, because the little thinking-machines in our heads are made up of the same material, and broadcast energy on mostly the same wavelengths, produce a lot of intelligible images. Not so much words as pictures. Sometimes just fuzzy colors and shapes.

I was very attuned to Darling Ex, up until about 8 years ago - 6 years before we split up. Suddenly there was a big, black hole where I used to feel her. I knew she was closing up to me - and I to her - but I was very surprised that she was able to so completely block any feelings at all. What's weird with her now is that since my youngest's b-day last Sept., I've been getting more and more vibes from her again. Not something I'm particularly happy about, but it's there none-the-less. I'd really rather not know when she's in pain, or ill. I'd especially be happier not knowing when she's in the throes of passion and ecstasy. Same goes for a couple of other people that I pick out of the general background noise. Some of them I'm seemingly unable to break a connection with, no matter how hard I try to ignore them. I suppose I'm not supposed to. There are a couple with whom I wouldn't break the connection, even if I could. Even though sometimes it would keep me from knowing when things happen that I really do not want to know.

Then there's the opposite people. The ones that aren't there at all. The last woman I dated, and some people definitely know who I mean, was so open in so many ways - but completely closed off to me energy-wise. I only once felt anything from her at all, and it was at a point in time that we were standing in Nature, and I guess she opened up because of the surroundings. When I mentioned it to her, she looked at me like I was crazy, and then said as much. Now that was an eye-opening moment. She herself was very in-tune with premonition type feelings, and I always thought it was strange that she was so closed to me. If other things had not happened to make that relationship implode, I'm sure the closed-ness would have done so eventually.

OK, that's all the crazy talk for today. Don't be shy, if you have similar things happen with you, or if you think I'm nutz... leave me a comment and tell me about it