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Long periods of time alone, when we are already at an unusually depressed attitude is not healthy, even though this situation of self-imposed exile is exactly what we are seeking.
No matter how low physically, mentally, morally, or spiritually we get to feeling sometimes, and how we self-impose the inclination of needing to be alone, this is probably not what God wants for us. Yes, it is good for us to be by ourselves for shorter periods of time once in a while so that we can clear our heads, refocus, and revitalize our minds and bodies. However, long periods of time alone, when we are already at an unusually depressed attitude is not healthy, even though this situation of self-imposed exile is exactly what we are seeking.
God tells us to gather around us sisters and brothers of common beliefs and moral principals that can render to us spiritual first-aid and support. This is the last thing we feel like doing when we are down, unless we are extremely “needy” and “victimized” in personality structure already. For a strong person that usually takes on the world with all they’ve got, and “bites the bullet”, “grits their teeth and bears it”, “picks themselves up, dusts themselves off, and starts all over again” attitude, this reaching out for help process is extremely more difficult to do. To this type of person, it is almost an admission of giving up, losing, weakness, giving in; to reach out and actually admit you might enjoy or feel relieved of the full-blown pressure, much less need someone else or their help.
But this is just what God wants us to do; reach out from ourselves to each other and Him. This action not only helps to heal our own needs and situations, but it usually helps the other person or persons in the same or similar way. I have found that oftentimes, we feel like we are the only one with problems, specific or unusual that we feel so alone and segregated by; we know no one else in the world (or at least our world) could relate to, or even begin to understand. When we finally open the door to others in trust, confidence, discussion, or even desperation, we find that they are currently, or have in the past, struggled with the same or very similar situations or challenges with a loved one, relative, or friend, if not personally themselves.
It is within the process of sharing, discussing, and venting of feelings, that these experiences or problems, challenges of life, can be resolved while we help ourselves and help others, in growth and learning cope-ability. This is true for all kinds of life lessons. This is the very premise that makes group therapy and other “twelve-step” type programs and rehabilitation centers so effective, and so necessary. The accountability to one another for our actions, reactions, and responsibility for us and others is essential in effective growth, cure, resolution, and rehabilitation.
This is also the reason that cities, societies, churches, and religions work together for the benefit of their members. There is strength and courage, knowledge, and wisdom in numbers, and somewhat of a safety zone. This is, of course, like many other things in life, a dichotomy, or double-edged sword.
Reaching out to and for others, can work for us, or work against us. Our group can be helpful, supportive, and focused on the positive goal, benefiting individuals and the greater group itself, or it can be confusing, confrontational, debilitating, antagonistic toward “normal” social mores’ and beliefs, and fanatical in isolating the individual and group from the greater humanitarian effort or structure. This has been done in almost every society of the world, involving millions of individuals globally. The question is, not whether you can apply it globally, rather, can you apply it personally, individually, beginning with you, and ending, there is no telling where. It takes courage, commitment, and unselfishness to help self, and others. Can you do it?
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Thank you for setting the example in your closing question and wrap-up. I'd love to take this with me to my church small group, but alas, I don't think they're open enough to hear it.
You are, once again, so effective in making your point.
Stephanie Sawyer