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  Home > Humor > Articles Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry      Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

Mark M Lichterman

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Murphy’s Law
by Mark M Lichterman   
Rated "PG" by the Author.
     
Last edited: Friday, August 14, 2020
Posted: Friday, August 14, 2020

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Then there are those things that disappear seemingly right before your eyes like that wrench, like that screwdriver, like those small kitchen appliances, like your keys, cell phone or whatever. Yup! That is all the fault of Murphy and one of the countless addendum's to Murphy’s Law.

Murphy’s Law

Oh yes! we all know that mythical character, “Murphy”: He of “Murphy’s Law.”  He of the, ‘Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong,’ Law.

Oh yes! You, I am sure, as I have become captive to Mr. Murphy and his Law and to the countless addendum's to Murphy’s law; for example...

“Humm, do I take a right or a left? Hmm?” Then, as so often happens – before GPS Systems, for those that have a GPS System – we’ll take a left turn instead of a right turn and... Oh yes! As so often happens it is the wrong choice…

For example, cutting the hasp of a lock, then finding the key.

See what I mean: A couple of Murphy’s Law addendum's.

Then again, in days gone by; in days before the advent “birth control” when there were only two ways to prevent a pregnancy. When, “Oh, my God! Guess what I forgot to put on!” Or, of course, then there was: “Well, honey, this is the first time we did ‘it’ without one.” And you know how that turned out; ‘cause nine months later: Yup, “ Whatever can go wrong, did go wrong!”

Murphy’s Law! 

Hell, at one time, not too long ago, our ice bucket disappeared. Now an ice bucket is no small thing… Well, in relation to a, say, in relation to a car an ice bucket is a small thing but in relation to an ice bucket, it’s no small thing and the damned thing just disappeared. We looked everywhere! Yup, taken by Murphy to wherever in hell Murphy takes stuff that just ‘absolutely’ disappears.

Now, as recently as last night.

So you understand:

Case in point:

Oh, woe

addiction being tested

In need of a shower

out of those clothes

into the shower…

Dressed then

then but…?

Lost and

couldn’t be found

Addiction being tested

Digging in the hamper

pockets turned out

where?

Oh, woe

woe is me!

Searching

searching

bottom to top

beneath the bed

behind the dresser

Oh, woe!

Addiction being tested

addicted since nine

never

no never without!

Oh, woe!

woe is me

Addicted since nine

never without

Chapstick

Never without!

Lips now cracking

blood coming soon

need a Chapstick fix!

Oh, where

oh where is it?

Oh, woe

need a Chapstick fix

oh, woe!

So, okay. So now, knowing what my addiction is, last night…

 Okay, so last night, about to fall asleep but needing one last, end of the day Chapstick fix I reached to the dresser and, oh woe! The tube was gone! Just gone!

 So up out of bed I got and looked on the floor around the dresser. I looked on the floor behind the dresser and beneath the bed. I thought back to what I was wearing before I got into bed – and, yes, in case you’re wondering, I did look in the pockets of my pajamas. – Then, thinking it may have fallen out of my pants pocked, searched behind and beneath the sofa cushions. I searched under the sofa and then out into the garage onto and between and under the car seat.

By the way, you ever try retrieving something that fell alongside the counsel and car seat?

But could not then and have not to now found that Chapstick.

 Fucking Murphy!

 I hoped he’s happy with my ice bucket, too.

 

©May 1, 2013 / Mark M. Lichterman

 

   

 


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Reviewed by m j hollingshead
Reviewed on August 18, 2020

enjoyed the read and the chuckles





Never stop writing

m

Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on August 15, 2020
Your troubles seem to make the Coronavirus pale by comparison. I do experience Murphy's Law quite often. Now it seems to happen to new, invincible appliances, that crap out before their original warranty even gets started. I reminisce about that toaster and that popcorn popper that lasted 30 years and even good be taken somewhere to be repaired.

Murphy's Law says… Once you have a bit of software that actually works and allows you to get things done, they come along and "upgrade it," making it much more complicated and difficult… Sometimes, impossible, to use.

Thankfully I haven't got to the stage where I'm constantly losing things. Never was something that bothered me. But my 15 year younger partner is famous for losing stuff, blaming it on anyone within earshot, and usually discovering whatever it was that was lost in some unlikely place where she put it, and then, dashed off multitasking and probably forgot where she put it.

Ron

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