2018 State of the Union Address (First Draft) by E D Phillips
Rated "G" by the Author.
Last
edited: Monday, January 22, 2018
Posted: Monday, January 22, 2018
My fellow Americans: The Fake Media would have you believe that you’ve been had, taken to the cleaners; raped, pillaged, and plundered; forever vanquished, and not a shot was heard, while the wailing and the gnashing of teeth will go on forever. But I, Donald J. trump, with the highest IQ ever recorded, with the purest heart that ever beat, loved by all, is here to assure you that they are all wrong.
Except for the Citizens United ruling that gave the ultra-wealthy control of elections across the country, a rigged election that transformed a 3 million vote deficit into a win for a liar, a cheat, a womanizing scoundrel; who approved the installment of a defunct ideology throughout my cabinet dredged up from the depths of hell; the stacking of the Supreme Court; the passage of a Tax Bill that establishes family dynasties from here to eternity; the creation of trillions more in public debt, and the start of an unraveling of Medicare and Social Security; even the obscene move to take tips away from mostly lady food servers while relegating them to minimum wages forever; putting a climate change denier in charge of the EPA; a brainless surgeon in charge of HUD; a thief in charge of the Treasury; making a prime time player in the biggest financial scandal in our history my chief economic advisor; who put a billionaire who never saw a public education classroom in charge of public education; and with a rag-tag band of ass-kissing loyalists as my closest advisors (except for my family members whose only life experiences consisted of learning from me about how to fail at almost everything while blaming others); the transmitter in chief of a total loss of confidence among all our allies around the world; playing brinksmanship with our nuclear arsenal with Rocket Man; while issuing a daily barrage of Twitter words from the White House replete with lies, distortions, and filth scattered to the farthest reaches of humanity; giving Mafia tyrants free reign to use my hotels as conduits for drug money laundering; all the while filling my coffers with new billions of ill-gotten gains—yes, except for that minor list of shortcomings. the State of the Nation is just fine. Thank you very much, good night, and Gawd! how I love America.
Now that's a laundry list. As always, your statistical acumen is spot on. However... BREAKING NEWS; by Tues night, he might add that he intends on pardoning Wynn (should the fake news lead to a conviction of "naughty, naughty." In exchange, I, the Donald, will happily take some ownership of your many money making casinos. Now, that's a deal to add to my bucket list.
I agree with Hyman and you. We are headed for disaster as a country as a result of the lying and deceit that has resulted in changes in law and many presidential edicts. We are warmed by a booming economy but so were the people of this country in 1928.
To add to Hyman's suggestions. I would recommend that all congressional districts must have a minimum of less than 10 (this can change) changes in line drawing direction. Since the lines bordering other states and waterways are not drawn for elections, they wouldn't count. Do away with the archaic and elitist electoral college. Allow presidential candidates to get on the ballot by petitions gathered on the Internet, not by their campaign funds raised. Allow Internet voting and popular vote election. Eliminate paid political advertising. Each candidate will have an equally formatted bio available on the Internet paid for by the government election funds from tax returns. Some of the suggestions may not work can be modified to work. We must return governance for the people to the people.
Trump makes me think of of Caligula, a Roman emperor. I guess this is the way it goes when empires get too big, we end up with crazy tyrants. Thanks for writing this satire. I'm glad you included NJ Gov. Chris Christie in the photo. Fortunately, people usually fight back and empires usually fall. --Pat from NJ.
Thanks for your comments, Hyman. My meager contribution to the dangers of Trump and all like him is limited to the 400 to 1,000 readers of my articles. We need 400 million to 1 billion in order to get the message out. That is still just the start of a solution. Those who reject the false promises of snake oil salesmen like Trump, however, are knowledge seekers, also known as open-minded people. The best antidotes are time, experience, and knowledge. All three can be accelerated via formal institutions where we are challenged to defend old stale beliefs and belief systems while answering to our peers. After 4 or more years most of us come out with enough confidence about how we think to be able to shrug off the gibberish tossed out by Trumpism. That is a long tough row to hoe for an entire electorate. It begins with the realization that elections have consequences.
I appears to me that you feel passionately that Donald J. Trump is the worst possible choice for the job of President of the United States. I agree, but how many more examples of his unsuitability is required. Enough already.
No one(to my knowledge)is addressing the deficiency of a system that would allow one like him to be elected. If not put right the country is doomed to a repeat disaster in the future (e.g. 2020)from which it will surely not recover.
My advice is to eliminate the Primaries (whose sole beneficiaries are the Media, fund raisers and pollsters) and have the inner core of the party select the candidate they feel most likely to win in the General election. Donald Trump would not have had a "snowballs chance in hell" of being elected. His only chance of getting into the White House would be to get in line with other tourists. The general public is fed up with U.S. politics and usual politicians e.g. Hillary Clinton. Unfortunately, King Kong did not run or he would be the POTUS.
Serial killer Ted Bundy's murders recounted from the perspective of thirty years after his execution in a Florida prison.
Brutal, compelling, with new updated facts about the case, his victims and the compulsions that drove Ted Bundy to mass murder.
"We walked in on a surreal scene. There are few words, if any, to accurately describe the abject horror..."
What Jeannie and Kevin McDonough saw was a wanted, multi-state serial killer about to take his next victim - their own daughter. W
To add to Hyman's suggestions. I would recommend that all congressional districts must have a minimum of less than 10 (this can change) changes in line drawing direction. Since the lines bordering other states and waterways are not drawn for elections, they wouldn't count. Do away with the archaic and elitist electoral college. Allow presidential candidates to get on the ballot by petitions gathered on the Internet, not by their campaign funds raised. Allow Internet voting and popular vote election. Eliminate paid political advertising. Each candidate will have an equally formatted bio available on the Internet paid for by the government election funds from tax returns. Some of the suggestions may not work can be modified to work. We must return governance for the people to the people.
Ron
No one(to my knowledge)is addressing the deficiency of a system that would allow one like him to be elected. If not put right the country is doomed to a repeat disaster in the future (e.g. 2020)from which it will surely not recover.
My advice is to eliminate the Primaries (whose sole beneficiaries are the Media, fund raisers and pollsters) and have the inner core of the party select the candidate they feel most likely to win in the General election. Donald Trump would not have had a "snowballs chance in hell" of being elected. His only chance of getting into the White House would be to get in line with other tourists. The general public is fed up with U.S. politics and usual politicians e.g. Hillary Clinton. Unfortunately, King Kong did not run or he would be the POTUS.