The look on her face was special.

Penwose here,

I tend to enjoy writing about things we do daily in our normal lives that may not be entirely normal. At this time I should like to write about another time…yesterday in fact.

I went to Euphoria for a much-needed pedicure. I should have had my phone running because the expression on the pedicurerator’s face when she saw my feet was special. I do not believe I have ever seen such a face.

I was long overdue for a clipping so my toenails were long. My left big toenail was purple from wearing shoes that were too small. My right big toenail matched it…before it fell off.
Now it is just a short re-growth. Three other toes had bloodstains and scabs from an injury where I lost my balance as I was opening a door a couple of weeks ago and my foot went under the door and got scrapped, which was quite a dilemma because I can not reach my feet due to bones fused in my back, so I had no way of stopping the bleeding except waiting until it stopped on its own, which it did otherwise I’d be dead. The other toes were normal.
Spellchecker said I wrote a run-on sentence. That’s like giving me a gold star.

She seemed bewildered so she went and got an instructor. I saw right away why she was an instructor…she was smart! She looked at the nail that had fallen off and said, “You don’t have to do anything with that one!”
She looked at the purple one and said, “Be careful with that one!”
Finally she looked at the scabs, “Don’t touch those!”
She followed directions and got a good grade and I got clipped professionally yet unlicensed.

Yesterday had more to tell of than just the beginning…
Have you ever see one of those movies where they inject an animal with a potion and it becomes huge? I always took them for fantasies? It seems I was mistaken?

I often buy a roasted chicken at the deli. I eat half one night and the other the next. When I bought the one of the previous day it seemed a little heavy to me? I always like to look inside and check its plumpness, but they have tape all over the carton so peeking is impeded.

Last night I took it from the fridge. I was already feeling good from the pedicure and the chicken would be an ample feast to celebrate, (obviously I don’t get many reasons to cheer.)

It felt rather heavy?
I opened the carton and “Great Googly Moogly…IT WAS HUGE!”

I’d never seen such a chicken! I know The Colonel never did!
It must be a turkey?

When I cut the tape on the carton everything sort of sprung out. The legs were so big they had to be crossed to fit them in the container.
This was no ordinary chicken!

Usually I cut the chicken in half, pull the parts apart, and put them on a plate with a half bag of frozen peas.

I cut this one in half and asked its permission before I tore a leg off.
Then I separated everything else, put them on a plate…and there was no room for the peas. I had to use another plate! I never use another plate!

Then I started eating. I never saw a wing with such meat. When I got to the leg I burped! I felt like a barbarian eating a big leg in one hand and a grog of ale in the other, only I had a cup of tea.

By the time the leg was polished off I was full, but I still had the thigh and breast left. This would be a long night.

I started eating the thigh. A half hour later it looked the same. This was a chicken from hell.

The football game on TV had just started when I started. It was now into the third quarter and I was barely into the second.

I cannot go through every detail, but I will say that I sat there and ate it all.

I looked for markings on the carton to see what kind of Super Chicken this was? But there was nothing there. It seemed like a regular chicken, but someone must have fed it Miracle-Gro?

I don’t know how I did it, but I did eat it all? The only problem is…I have to eat the other half tonight!

Penwose Out,
By George