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Blogs by Tyler Joseph Wiseman
Back on the pale horse 7/6/2003 2:24:56 AM
I had lost all the will to write. San Francisco was an invaluable inspiration, filling me with new and profound insights upon the meaning of death. Unfortunately, the night in which I lost my poetry bag left me without a hunger, nor a point of reference.
Thankfully, upon returning to Fargo, ND, and resurrecting conversations with my fine friend Aurora Antonovic, I found reason again to write, to be published! This is about my glory now, for after heralding the cares and virtues of Jewel (beloved yet) I found the inexaustable love to be something of the illusiory. There is some sickened irony that, with her maxi single "Serve the ego" she found the greatest success, as the song was in fact written about my trivial conquests in search of a control which I would never have.
I was raped. A man slipped me the pill, blew me as I struggled with paralysed muscles, and I couldn't even bring myself to slit the cocksuckers (pun intended) throat upon waking. Later, I would want only blowjobs from women in the futile bid to have control over my memories. "Get down on your hands and knees and serve the new deity...serve the ego."
She thought it dispicable, I'm sure. I found it as much in retrospect, but wine and women are the order of the daze which our ID revels in, and I could have no less than the worst of the best life could offer. Then the fools, the beautiful, monstrous fools, made it a dance club hit, turning what was a moral compass into a Bermuda whirlygig.
Well, now I'm done serving my ego, and hers. I shall endeavor forthright to serve the world in my writings, as ever I have, and divine a new path for our decadent salvations.
More Blogs by Tyler Joseph Wiseman • Santa Cruz - Wednesday, March 9, 2005 • Golden Roots - Wednesday, October 15, 2003 • Back on the pale horse - Sunday, July 6, 2003
