Elizabeth Evelyn Stember, click
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Blogs by Elizabeth Evelyn Stember
I wanna cash in my body early 5/22/2006 7:07:05 PM
oh joy of being at my sperm shooters... Somone...anyone...just f***ing kill me. I'm serious, I am so f***ing misserable. As if the f***ing astral 2X4 isn't beating my f***ing head bloody enough, I just had the most misserable weakend of my f***ing life. All this started when by (ex) boyfriend, Neuhmz (page him and rip him a new one if you'd like, if anyone f***ing cares right now) stoped talking with me. I saw him after almost three weeks since our last date, three weeks since last we f***ing spoke (Midsummer Night's Dream...oh gods, someone please tell me why a romantic comedy had to turn my life to tradgety?) at his store. He looked f***ing stoned out of his FUCKING MIND. He had an 'oh shit' look on his face when he saw me. I started crying because I hadn't heard from him, seen him, anything and was so worried. He said his uncle died. In Spain. Shit, dude, send me a f***ing E-mail! Call me! Write me a f***ing letter! Something! But the thing is, I don't think he was being honest. Truely, I'd rather he told me he blew me off for spring break to get high at a LAN or something and didn't lie to me straight faced like that. And while I'm leaving, with my stepfather as witness, he promised to call or IM me. Heh, and tipical me, the stupid gullible tart that I am, I'm still f***ing waiting for him. Cause I love him. Gods, I'd rather have been born with no emotion whatsoever then to deal with this. I just want to f***ing end my suffering, cause I can gather that he's not missing me at all. An explaination, a f***ing sentance that tells me whether we're still going out or not, SOMETHING. Is that too much to ask for from the guy I love?! Is it?! Of course, if that's gone to hell, you know one of my family lives has gone worse then this.
My father, no, he's not really a dad. And sperm doner anymore is too affectionate for him as a label. 24 chromosone chucker is probably best. any ways, the 24cc has this little idea in his head that the women in his house are there to f***ing serve him and he can relax just because he works all f***ing week. Big f***ing deal, I work all f***ing week too. Granted I don't get paid, but I still bust my f***ing ass trying to get good grades so I can better myself far from him and hopefully never associate with him again. My stepmother, who has trouble enough with her twelve year old getting arrested and other things, gets one of those back/front yard fire pits. so the 24cc decides to get some free wood at a lumber yard near where he works, cut it up, and drag it around front. Without asking (I think I should make it clear that you don't do anything unless the person that really wears the pants in the family, the person that watches the kids, aproves of it). So my stepmom throws a fit, cause the wood A: looks like an eyesore on the front yard and B: we already had enough to last us a month in the garage from camping. So they're arguing, and going into other stuff and they're picking at each other like no tomorrow, and the way they were doing it...I was at the dinning room table doing Su Do Ku puzzles and I just curled up as best I could, shaking, thanking the gods that man wasn't drunk. Because I was at the point of a nervous breakdown. I have had it with that man, and that was the final straw. I'm f***ing through with him. And I am just SICK of a lot of things, I'm always on f***ing edge, as if I'm going to be hit, and I'm tired of being scared. I went through this once before with my mother's second husband...do I need to go through it again?!
