Children are such a precious gift been given to us to nurture, teach and guide them on many paths. I understand that being a parent must be very rewarding yet tough at times. I have seen all my friends grow up and become parents and I have followed them along the way. I have seen there good times and how they coped through the bad.  I must tell you  I am not a parent but I have worked in the childcare industry for over 12 years. Some of the ages are I have worked with, from 6 week old to 17 year olds teenagers on the streets.

Even though I was never meant to be a mum I can say I sure have fulfilled my job as a career towards directing many children of all ages down the right path, very satisfying and warms the heart. I think my destiny was already put in place not to be a mum, although I longed for that every day and let my emotions rule my life , it was obvious it was never meant to be.

When I think back while I was growing up I always dreamt of being a mum. Nothing else really mattered to me , I usually just focused on that.  Unfortunately because of ongoing health reasons and  other related factors my dream was slowly slipping away. My body was shutting down, heart was breaking and my mind was playing tricks on me.  I was so determined to keep trying to find away that it eventually got the better of me and ruined my long term relationship. 

Of course my hormones were up and down like a yoyo, I was not the real me. I had to face reality, 35 never be a mum and newly single.  Shattered with my life and feeling very  desperate , I was really holding on for any  little miracles to happen .  I was going round and round in circles.  

For anyone else who has been through the same ordeal would know just how extremely exhausting and painful the experience was. My world was spinning totally out of control but now this is where I tell you how I managed to pull myself together and move forward with my new life.  Now I finally understand why it was not meant to be.