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Fear of Vulnerability 5/21/2014 5:51:36 AM
Whether you call it fear or vulnerability or “George” it’s whatever that thing is that keeps us for stretching ourselves. It touches every aspect of our lives in many forms and in many degrees. Fear of losing, fear of winning, fear of staying, fear of leaving. Take your pick. Whatever it is, it keeps us from growing, evolving, exploring what else is out there.
There will never be a time in our lives without fear and there never should be. From Day 1 we are taught to be fearful as a way to stay safe: don’t talk to strangers, don’t play with fire, keep your fingers out of other people’s mouths (or what that just me??). Living a life without some element of fear isn’t possible nor should it be a goal. It’s how we let fear dictate our behavior that’s key.
This isn’t meant to be some self-help topic where we all hold hands (virtually, of course), close our eyes and start intoning some mantra about releasing fear. This is just about how my fear kept me from publishing my book and how I hope those of you out there who are still holding on to your manuscript can take a leap just as I have.
I’m not a very forthcoming person; ask anyone who knows me and since there are only a few it won’t take long. It isn’t to say I’m not nice or I’m introverted – far from it – but I hold things close to the vest. I’m not sure why and, to be frank (or francis), it doesn’t matter. It is what it is. So the idea of opening myself up to the world through by books made me almost catatonic.
Don’t kid yourselves. People will judge you through your work. Period. I’ve found myself qualifying my book as soon as people know it’s available. “Well, it’s not for kids.” “It’s kinda’ graphic in certain scenes especially the language and sex.” “I wrote like my parents are dead which they will be if they ever read it.”
You know the drill.
Why?
Vulnerability. As if by pre-qualifying the most obvious areas of judgmental opportunities I can deflect them. “Oh, I know that language was excessive but I don’t really talk like that. It’s just the characters in the book. I was going for authenticity. Blah, blah, blah…” Translations: Don’t judge me by my book!
It doesn’t really work that way. Plus, I only get to say that to the three or four people I know so for anyone else out there who may read my books: it’s duck season (or rabbit season. Take your pick.).
What’s my point? My point is don’t let the fear of being vulnerable to THE ENTIRE WORLD (yes, I did that on purpose) keep you from realizing your dream. People judge you no matter what so why not embrace the horror, accept that not everyone is going to like what you’ve written and get over it! You are more important than anyone’s (especially strangers’) opinions and so are your dreams. Don’t let what people may or may not think keep you from publishing your book or whatever else holds your passion.
