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Blogs by Tamela Heath Hawley
Fear is a stopper... 1/5/2006 1:31:17 PM
This is my response to the posting of January 3, 2006 entitled, "Reflections on the Way, Volume 1,3" from my guide Mark. What I have been facing is fear. Really, what I have been not facing is fear. I have been in fear of my life--literally. I am tired of consulting my guides and getting the same message, over, and over, and over again, "You can be who you are, when you decide to be that..." I have never understood what it meant. I still am not convinced that I fully understand what it means. Yet I know in my heart there is something within me that wants to come forward. I can feel the push. I feel anxious every time that yearning emerges. It is there. I thought for the longest time that the reason it would not come out was because I was not worthy. I now know that I was put here to bring my unique brand of light to the world. I understand that not from any one thing that happened. I am beginning to emerge quite slowly and gradually because of my experience. I realize that I have something to contribute and the only person who can contribute what I have to contribute is me. If I do not put forward my light, it will not come forward. What am I afraid of? I fear myself. No one is better at holding me back than me. I am nasty when it comes to fighting and arguing with myself. I recall that sickening feeling that I would get when going into a review that I know is going to be bad. "What is that bastard going to say about me." You know how it feels, when you anticipate bad news or a bad conversation. Now magnify that feeling by 1,000. Now you know how it feels for me to anticipate having to face my biggest obstacle--myself! This is what I must do. I must go foward. I must close my eyes, swallow hard, take a deep, long breath, and walk through that door. No matter what I face, it cannot be worse than what I will face if I don't move forward. I can actually think of something worse than facing my deepest fears--facing my own depression.
