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Blogs by Carlos Alvarado
When does following a dream become vanity? 6/13/2007 6:19:29 AM
Vanity could not have been Sister Eugene’s intention from the creative writing assignments she liked to give her fifth grade class. But looking back, now forty years later and after manning an exhibition booth at the New York City Book Expo (BEA), I wonder if it were not these, my favorite grammar school tasks, that led me to turn self-gratification to self-aggrandizement.
Sister Eugene would clip photographic pages from a Life magazine to the border of the blackboard; and allow us to casually gaze at the images lining the classroom. She anticipated that one would inspire each of her students to write a story. When she submitted to the Catholic newspaper my written narrative on the burning at the stake of “Joan of Arc”, I began to imagine a career in writing. When weeks passed and my story was not included in the paper, writing became only a heartfelt pleasure.
Time intimidates for what it inflicts upon us physically, but encourages by how it emboldens our emotions. Thirty years after my “Joan of Arc” assignment, I began my first book. Fearing it would not be published, I stowed the completed manuscript in the closet. As many times as I re-read it, my book appeared to be worth sharing. To self publish, though, was not enough exposure; money and effort had to be invested to reach a wider market. Gradually dollars began to chase each other, and personal duties were delayed; but I managed to rent a space at the Book Expo, and set up an impressive display.
Everyone tells me to be patient; after all, my mother prayed the rosary for my Book Expo success. It’s almost two weeks since I returned from New York, with as many books as I had taken. I check the empty mailbox daily, and listen for the silent phone to ring. Emails are ladened with spam, and all I care to do is begin my second book.
