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Blogs by Laura Spinella
A Drum Roll, Please... 11/26/2010 5:55:46 AM
I’ve spent the last six months blog blending, intermingling personal anecdotes with commentary about BEAUTIFUL DISASTER’S debut. I knew it would be a long haul, from May to January, anticipating blank spots in my life like the pages of an unwritten novel: daunting and vacant. Well, at least until you come up with that killer first line. The goal was to create forward motion, or at least the illusion of forward motion when, in reality, nothing would occur for weeks at a time. Publishing a novel is nothing if not a fresh cliché for watching grass grow or paint dry. For as many times as I’ve described the book’s plot, I’ve also explained why the process is so lengthy.
Not long after I sold the book, my father called. He turned 84 on his last birthday and he doesn’t give a rat’s ass what anybody thinks. When I grow up, I’m going to be just like him. However, when publishing a first novel, it’s probably best to project a positive, amiable image. Anyway, he was perplexed by the year long wait to publication. He had a surefire fix for this, as if the light bulb simply hadn’t come on for the fine folks at Berkley. “Why don’t they put you on FOX News? People sell books on FOX News all the time.” Okay, would that be before or after Sean Hannity gets to page 93 and decides that the sign of the devil is, in fact, my ISBN number? Short of this flaw, I thought it was a fine plan.
While I appreciate my father’s rush to print, and am mercifully thankful he does not indulge in fiction, meaning that in all likelihood he will NEVER read page 93, I believe we’ve made it to the home stretch. Somewhere, however it works, BEAUTIFUL DISASTER is surely on a print schedule. There’s been a palpable shift in activity, as I’ve been assigned a publicist who—can you believe this—wants nothing more than to chat up my book. It’s like a room full of mirrors for the incurably narcissistic. Forget therapy, everyone should just get a publicist. I know it’s only temporary, that eventually the mirrors will fog up and she’ll disappear. But for right now, she’s mine. And while I’ve spent months alluding to forward motion, it’s her mission to put it in gear and make it go. Book signings are always a hot spot for published authors, and we’re planning a few of those. The biggest coup, thus far, is an invitation from the University of Georgia bookstore. Because BEAUTIFUL DISASTER takes place in Athens, on the campus, the venue was my personal brass ring. Since deciding the manuscript was a book, and the book worthy of a publisher, I’ve made a real effort to focus on incremental successes, and that was a big one.
Sometimes, at certain events, the author is asked to read from his or her book. This prospect is neither a goal nor a wishful incremental success. Personally, I think it’s a little nuts. You want to ask somebody who spends a severely disproportionate amount of time with imaginary people to address real ones? Regardless, I said to my shiny new publicist, “Whatever it takes…” To that end, we’re having a mock reading tonight. I’ve invited friendly faces, some with a sharper wit than mine, a few who can hold more alcohol, to come hear me read. I’ve got the refreshments and snacks figured out, what I’m wondering is how horrendously I’ll trip over my own words. I’ve scoured the book, searching for just the right passage. I’m sure that decision, and a beta blocker, is key to a successful reading. Considering that most adults are not used to being read to, it also needs to be concise, capturing their imagination in a paragraph or two. Hmm, maybe page 93 is the right place to start… hmm, maybe not. Let me get back to you, say around noon on Sunday, and I’ll let you know how it goes.
