Lisa Mannetti, click
here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.
Blogs by Lisa Mannetti
The Writing Life 10/15/2010 10:32:09 PM
A quirky little tongue-in-cheek survey about the (ahem) glamorous lives writers lead. The Writing Life
1. What is your typical attire when you write? (Seasonal variations optional.)
2. Assuming you bathe or shower every day and change your undergarments, how many times per week do you wear the same jeans, shorts, pajamas, t-shirts, fleece tops, etc?
3. Assuming you remember to brush your teeth each day, how often do you discover it’s 4 pm and you’ve forgotten to brush your hair?
4. Assuming you remembered all brushing, how often do you forget to check the porch for snail mail, forget to pay bills, forget your mother’s birthday?
5. Assuming the writing is going (badly or well), and that you’ve brushed teeth and hair, and paid the bills, how often do you forget to feed your pets? Kids?
6. Assuming the writing is going (badly or well) and deadlines approach, how often do you cancel:
a) dentist appointments
b) gynecology or proctology appointments
c) watching favorite TV shows
7. Assuming the writing is going (badly or well) and deadlines approach, how often
do you skip out on:
a) funerals
b) weddings
c) drinks with friends?
8. What do you typically drink while
a) writing
b) correcting mss. and galley proofs?
c) firing off angry emails to Carl Paladino or Macy’s billing department?
9. Which drugs or what type of alcohol do you assume/suspect your
editors consume while reviewing your work?
10. Has your editors’ use of substances helped or hindered your career?
11. How often do you fantasize:
a) going to a terrific writers’ retreat?
b) starting a terrific writers ‘retreat?
c) winning a major award?
12. How often do you fantasize:
d) someone shoots the idiot next door running the commercial-sized lawn mower across his postage-stamped sized lawn while you’re trying to write?
e) you shoot the idiot next door running the mower?
13. In response to questions #11 and #12:
Does the person or do you receive jail time in your fantasy?
If you’ve answered YES, have you considered that spending time in prison
may be the writers’ retreat you really need to actually finish that book?
