Marie Lavender, click
here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.
Blogs by Marie Lavender
Why in the World Do I Write This Crazy Thing Called Romance? 6/19/2014 4:17:16 PM
I had someone ask what really caused me to write romance, other than the obvious things like writing about hunks that make women sigh. Well, from the time I was a child, I always loved stories about romance or watching romantic movies. I can’t explain the reason why I was so enamored of the genre then, only that it made me happy. When other kids were immersed in their worlds of dolls or action figures, I had these love stories playing in my head. I always believed in the concept of true love. Okay, maybe I was a bit whisked away by the idea of a knight swearing fealty to his lady.
What further cemented this belief, I think, was seeing a true love story play out in my own house. My parents weren’t perfect; no one is. They fought occasionally, but you could always see the love between them. They probably wouldn’t believe that I based my expectations of romance on them, but in reality I did. To me, that’s what real love was like – not always easy, but totally worth it. Relationships are work, but the good ones make it look easy on the outside. It wasn’t until I was older that I realized there are different kinds of love, at least with regards to romance.
Did I ever experience it myself? Of course. I started dating in college, when most girls had already had a few boyfriends. So, needless to say, I was a little naive at first. My first relationship was a mistake. I learned from it, of course, but I wish I hadn’t made the decisions that led to what happened. The man I dated was very abusive in ways I won’t even describe here, and I regret wasting my time on him. I waited about a year after the breakup before I tried to find someone again. I met someone new, and after having knowing him for a year, I can say that was also a mistake. Though I was loyal to him, he ended up cheating on me when were supposed to be excusive. Cheating is a huge no-no in my book. I was understandably deflated and heartbroken after that.
So, you may ask, “Why do you write romances? Shouldn’t you be jaded by your experiences?”
Well, I was certainly affected by what happened, but in spite of it all, I held firm to my belief in true love. I knew that somewhere out there, there had to be a decent man, that there was someone for me. I knew that not having that belief, not having something to hope for, was just going to make me bitter. Of course, I was afraid of being hurt again, but there is never courage without fear.Upon_Your_Honor_opt
So, I just kept moving forward. I always wrote stories and having those experiences helped to shape my fiction. I could write villains better because I knew firsthand what forms that could take. Quite often heroines ended up with similar past experiences, and I guess you could say writing was my therapy. I think without that outlet, things might have been different. I was majoring in Creative Writing in college so I had plenty of opportunity to put pen to paper.
In 2004, my life changed drastically. I met someone online and despite how well we connected, I was really wary of meeting him in person. You never know what can result in something like that. We did eventually meet in a very neutral, very public location, and we instantly hit it off. We started talking and really never stopped. After meeting and knowing this man, I began to understand the difference between loving someone and being in love. I can fully admit that I have no doubts that he is my soul mate. We have been together for ten years and even after going through so many major life events together, we are still strong. We still remain in love and faithful to one another.
This experience has not only strengthened my faith in true love, it has also helped me write better. Being in love and being with a romantic person is very inspiring to me. And I really wouldn’t have had it any other way. I know now that events played out the way they should have, and I am a true believer in fate. We are all destined to find who we are supposed to be with. It just takes time and maybe a few mistakes along the way. So, where was I? Oh, yes.
I sincerely believe that all of these experiences helped to shape my conviction for writing romance. I am also an avid reader of romance. You couldn’t have guessed, right? Two of my favorite authors are Nora Roberts and Catherine Coulter. In recent years, I turned to a fascination with paranormal romance so I picked up J.R. Ward, Kerrelyn Sparks, P.C. Cast and Chloe Neill as favorites as well.
I think that my writing tends to have a lot of conflict. Life isn’t easy and I try to reflect that. With fiction, a character will always have to overcome something to get what he or she wants. I also don’t sugar coat the truth about a character. If they went through something, there is no use hiding it. I firmly believe our experiences only make us stronger. So, even though I write about romance and I truly love it, I know when to be more serious with a scene. But, love can also be a lot of fun. Romance books can be a great escape, and it’s no different when I’m in the midst of writing a scene. There is so much you can do with it as there are many different subgenres for romance now. I have published contemporary romance, historical romance, romantic suspense, paranormal romance, and in my spare time, I write romantic poetry. I even have works in progress that could be labeled as time travel romance.
Being a writer is my calling, but romance writing…that’s my passion.
