😂FAMOUS FIRST LINES😂 – Direct from Owen Thomas Fiction, those first literary lines just begging to be rewritten. Today’s pick is from Herman Melville’s MOBY DICK: “Call me Ismael.” 

Autocorrect Translation: “Call me oatmeal.” 

Siri Translation: “I do not understand… call me fish pail.” 

Alexa Translation: “Calling police…”

Pop Music Alternative: “Call me maybe.”

Vintage Rock Alternative: “Call me any, anytime. Call me!” 

Singer-Songwriter Alternative: “Call me Al (You can)”

2:00 a.m. at the Bar Alternative: “Call me a cab.”

Bad Humor Alternative to the 2:00 a.m. at the Bar Alternative: “Call me a cab.” “Okay, you’re a cab.”

Medical Alternative: “Call me in the morning (Take two aspirin and)”

Country-Pop Alternative: “Just call me Angel of the morning, Baby.”

Hillbilly Alternative: “Call me stupid (Slap me on the head and)”