“I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading! How much sooner one tires of any thing than of a book! -- When I have a house of my own, I shall be miserable if I have not an excellent library.”
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
And I have an excellent library full of flame-retardant books – one must be extra-cautious these days about their excellent collection! Still continuing on with Austen with my grandd' who is three and twenty. (She has finished P&P ... once I finshed we are caught up.)
ME Friday: Finally starting P&P. Hard not to believe it won't be my favorite … best banter and sarcasm … but, man, in those days, I guess it wasn't an oldwives tale that if you got caught in the rain or cold you immediately get sick! One raindrop. BAM! Take to your bed! And Mrs. B. had no problem sending her daughter off to a man's home where she knew she might be stranded.
HER: Mrs. Bennet is nuts!
ME: And I love her!
HER: She is silly. She is doing her best for being a silly woman. Mr. Bennet honestly isn't my favorite tho. He literally only likes Elizabeth out of the whole family. I love Elizabeth, but damn! Can't even pretend to care about the rest of the family.
ME: Yeah, his teasing can be harsh, like, "Okay, that hurt." Calling his daughters silly when they are standing right there. I loved this line, though, when Mrs. B said, "You have no compassion on my poor nerves." And he said, "You mistake me, my dear, I have high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. I have hear you mention them with consideration these 20 years at least!" But, yes, biting sarcasm is his game. Prob due to not having a son, shame over also not having a fortune.
HER: His sarcasm is funny for sure. But a lot of the time I'm like, dude! You kinda did this to yourself. Married a woman just for her looks, didn't save enough or try to invest more in his daughters because he just expected to have a son. Glad most of the daughters learned from their parents tho.
ME: Yes, he's feeling a wee bit inadequate, and a wee bit eccentric and agoraphobic. Doesn't leave the "bunker" much. I really want to stay up and read until I'm done. Sewing took all day and my eyes are crossed, but also strange to be hand stitching literal gowns while watching the BBC version of S&S. We shall see how late I stay up, but I shall refrain from texting until morning light.
HER: Lol, have fun, good night!
ME: 'night!
ME Saturday: Back at it! Don't think the bride will mind. She's not picking up the dresses until tomorrow. So I threw on one of the frocks, and I'm lounging on the daybed with a blueberry muffin, wearing satin slippers, reading by the window in my charming cottage. Lizzie is telling Jane what she just found out from Wickham. And Darcy is still being a tiresome shithead, but also slightly worth being attracted to, no matter inner protestations (and because I saw the movie/mushy scenes).
HER: Oh, yes, no matter that of course we trust Wickham after only knowing him for 5 minutes!
ME: And of course when someone tears another person down in the first 5 minutes that they've met you, that's a sign of integrity! Good day, so good to meet you … now listen to this!" I love the way Lizzie turned down dopey Collins, but abhor Collins view—and even men today—that her "no" meant she was being "coy" or that her opinion was a "formality" and that he would eventually "take what he pleased." Somewhere in here too Mrs. B states she literally doesn't care about Lizzie. OMG!
HER: Oh, of course. For real, so stupid. Mrs. B really only likes Lydia and Jane. Lydia is very similar to Mrs. B and Jane because she is beautiful.
ME: Lizzie is visiting Charlette—even though she'd been a bit of a bitch when Char' accepted Coll's proposal.
HER: She really was. Like, jeez! Think about people besides yourself, Lizzie!
ME: Lizzie is a bit of a pill. And Char' was brave to understand her station in life, noting she cared little for "men or matrimony", but "marriage was the object" and she had the humbling self-knowledge that she wasn't pretty and had no fortune = Collins. She is the better friend, having never lorded it over Lizzie's head that Longbourne was hers once Daddy B was in the dirt.
HER: For real, Charlette is a complicated character who didn't have a lot of choices being a woman, not being "pretty" and she didn't exactly have guys lining up to marry her, unfortunately, and she needed to secure herself a future when her own father passed.
ME: And can you imagine if someone like Lady Cat' the big know-it-all blowhard asked you, like she did Lizzie, "Hey, how many sisters have you … are they handsome … can they play … draw … were they educated?" Asking if they're going to marry and how soon. Women on the chopping block, up for good sale. (Plus, you and your sisters didn't have a governess – something Mrs. C' would say – you were doomed!)
HER: For real, the Lady Catherine Hate Club. I do believe they deserved at least more education than Mrs. B wanted to give them, but jeez, you don't need to maker her feel embarrassed of her family and upbringing!
ME: Lady Cat' is tedious and Mr. Collins just never shuts up! Poor Charlette stuck with the both of them!
HER: Literally. Unfortunately, she may have gotten marriage and misery. At least Mr. Collins tries to be good to her, even if it seems like he's dumb and never shuts up.
ME: She did get a cute little house in the deal, though Lady Cat' criticizes everything in the house being done the wrong way. I loved how Char' had some kind of gathering and seated everyone away from the front window so Mr. Col' couldn't comment on everything out the window. Ha!
HER: Yes, ha! ha! She's a strong woman for sure, and once Mr. B dies they get to move to Longbourn and she will be far away from Lady Catherine.
ME: I don't know how Lizzie could play the f-ing pianoforte with Lady C standing over here. I would have flipped it over on her.
HER: I would not have the patience for her at all! Imagine if Lizzie had married Mr. Collins. Everyone would feel her wrath.
ME: Lizzie would have poisoned both of them, and of course her father would have condoned it AND whisked her into hiding behind a secret door in his study so she could avoid prosecution.
HER: Ha! He sure would have. They'd actually be good partners in crime, probably.
ME: They'd likely throw the rest of the family under a bus if it suited their agenda … not that there were busses back then … so maybe a speeding carriage or chaise.
HER: Oh, absolutely. Lydia or Mrs. B would be the first to go. Not Jane, though. Lizzie would never do that.
ME: I think Mr. Darcy is on the spectrum.
HER: Oh, definitely.
ME: He comes into a room, stiff as a board, and then clamps his mouth shut and doesn't talk! Super neurodiverg' if you ask me.
HER: Oh, monstrous neurodiverg
ME: Part of the attraction.
ME Sunday: Lydia is off t to Brighton to flirt with the soldiers and have the time of her life. And I hope you know, when we finish Austen we are moving on to Bronte' … to which I have read, but always re-read with monstrous pleasure.
HER: I am down for that.
ME: We may be on the verge of a violent literary mental consumption. It apparently burns monstrous calories in its wake. Do bolster yourself with goose fat and biscuits, sweet meats and good wine. We must persevere. Recline when placing your eyes to the book, at all costs. We must not become infirmed!
HER: Very excited to consume monstrous amounts of literature. They just have to burn books because God forbid we know things. And they hate women, especially women who read … so we'll be burned too … as witches, probably
ME: Critically thinking women must be damned!
HER: Yes. No women who can think. Absolutely not!
ME: Good God! Just got to where Mr. B does literally confess he only married Mrs. B for her captivating youth and beauty and had no real affection for her. What a dick! "Her weak understanding and illiberal mind" turned him off. Makes his sarcasm and the biting and ugly, and crushing on Lizzie … doesn't touch them per se, but kind of incestuous … he had to whisper like a secret lover, at the breakfast table, the morning Lizzie returned home, how glad he was that she was back. Ew!
HER: Lol. That is a new take, but I do see it.
ME: Lizzie acknowledges it, and how her younger sisters suffer by the effects of the marriage but she also super benefits from those same effects – by getting papa's full attention.
HER: Yep!
ME: Goodness, Mr. Col' told Mr. B to just "forget about" Lydia (lost cause) running off with Wickham, and that she's better off dead, and then also blabs it all to Lady Cat!
ME A FEW HOURS LATER: My dearest Scarlotta, pray tell, with violent eyes, I have finished P&P! With monstrous excitement I shall start Man' Park this evening. I loved the last pages of P&P, and laughed out loud at Mr. B's terse, very short letter to Collins about Darc' and marrying, and his pretty much telling Lady Cat' to F' off. Hope the afternoon finds you with a monstrous heavy book in your lap!
HER: Monstrous Violent! Yay! Good on Mr. B. We just finished a violent hot but monstrous good day at Ren' Faire. Will be recovering from a monstrous migraine. Shall be off to go swimming.
ME: You guys were brave to be out there in the heat, in costume, wielding swords and turkey legs.
HER: Ha, ha, so brave. Monstrous brave!
(onward to Mansfield Park)
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