"Is This For Real????"
4 Comments - Show Original Blog

I did not know the Universe was out of balance, but I should have guessed when my barista got my latte right on the first try.

There has been no 'real' reporters since the 1950s. Ah, for a Walter Cronkite, but again, many men of integrity and honor came out of the 1940s.

They reported nothing like I report, of course. But then, they probably were not on acid.

5/12/2025 12:12:57 PM [ Report Abuse ]

Isn't it great when real reporting uncovers the true history and sets the universe in balance again?

4/8/2025 3:10:08 PM [ Report Abuse ]

Randolph Hearst is a God here, man. (Or is it Randolph Scott) Do not disparage his name in any way, shape or form. Sure, he hadn't been born yet but neither has Orson Wells. We will patiently wait his arrival here at the Gazette.

I can only hope I shall be around to report that 1938 War of the Worlds radio program. I'll be a little long in the tooth, granted, but it will be worth my time and effort, I'm sure. A Martian was my Prom date. A nice enough guy but he loved to probe things. I wonder what radio is.

For all you know, I could be a time traveler. Which reminds me, I forgot my watch on the cracker barrel at 'YE OLE Neighborhood Brothel'. I am lost without it. No, really...it is my means of transporting about the worm holes.

I'm stuck back here with men who wear short pants and Dolly Parton wigs. Well, if it were easy anyone could do it, right? (I'm sorry, I meant Dolly Madison wigs, of course)

I'll just suck it up and go about reporting the fake news and drinking bootleg moonshine until I go blind. Not a bad way to go, really.

I have to be honest. This era sounds a hell of a lot better than the one where Jo'berg Journal holds court.

Except for the Mad magazine thing, of course. That...sounds just fine to me.

I had a false memory once. It had something to do with strawberry shortcake, a trampoline and four midgets. It's all a haze, but it makes me smile. TOO MUCH INFORMATION?

2/4/2025 8:05:47 PM [ Report Abuse ]

The way I heard it was "All the Gnus that'll fit to print", a statement of policy by the Jo'berg Journal (a 'Hearst to worst' franchised publication), but that was back in my very early MAD Magazine days when it was still permissible to make scurrilous and insinuative jokes openly. That was before the WOKE sleepwalking panjandrum epidemic infected American society, of course. I think some bright and likely lad in Jo'berg had invented a marvelous process to turn Wildebeest blood into printer's ink, but that may be a cross-intersectional false memory (I'll have to check up on that with my FLAK checkers). In any event, my subscription to the Boston news service has expired, more's the pity (witch isn't surprising, I guess). Colonists 10, Injins 2...

2/4/2025 6:42:30 AM [ Report Abuse ]