Here at Daddy Loves Me we are here to help in any way we can. Today a real life look at a day in the life with a six month old child plus one hot dog. Enjoy!

6:00 AM
It's Saturday and yes, I'm up at 6. There are preparations to be made and HE WILL BE UP SOON!

6:05 AM
Inside his crib my son is already moving around and making sounds. I need to hurry!

6:09 AM
Some would argue a shower or deep breath is a nice way to start the day. Others enjoy a strong cup of coffee. I stand and watch our mini-dachshund (the hot dog) pee on her pee pad. Some of the pee misses, flowing onto the hardwood floor. She always misses.

6:10 AM
Replace pee pad and make the hot dog some breakfast (water and freeze dried chicken dinner). I wish every morning for me was Winner Winner Chicken Dinner...

6:12 AM
Go to work at the bottle factory. Wash bottles, nipples, pumping equipment, chew toys, spoons, and whatever else needs cleaning. Dry with paper towel. I always use paper towel, dish rags for drying is for suckers! Note: Always by the good paper towels, not the shitty ones that tear apart inside the bottles. For those not familiar, this is how many bottles need to be washed. Take the number used and then multiply by five. That is the number you end up washing. Doesn't make sense? No, it sure doesn't.

6:22 AM
Finish drying the last bottle and notice one bottle still sitting on the table from my boy's late night "snack." Say "shit" out loud. (Note: There is no one to hear my pain.) Grab the bottle, disassemble, wash, dry, and reassemble.

6:30 AM
The bottle factory is closed.

6:35 AM
I can hear the legs banging against the crib. Time to get my boy up. First, I have to put down the tarp. What's that, a tarp you say? Yes. A plastic drop cloth like the ones used by painters is used in his changing area to assist with "accidents" and cut down on the emergency bed spread laundry cycles. After a quick change (usually has a BM surprise waiting) and some bright smiles, I bring him out to the living room. I log the sleep, diaper, and if there was an overnight "snack" in an iPad app so we can keep track.

6:50 AM
He's hungry, time for a bottle. After, a quick burp it's time to play. One hour after wakeup and right after eating he is a very happy man and is a joy to play with. This may last hours, sometimes it's a matter of only minutes before Mr. Cranky shows up.

7:30 AM
Starting to lose him. We read books, go for "laps" around the apartment, and play with his toys. His favorite is a phone that has a puppy named "Scout" that keeps calling. Scout is saving the day at this point.

8:00 AM
Repeat 7:30 AM

8:02 AM
I hate Scout.

8:25 AM
The team of hot dog and my boy decide to apply the full court press on me. Baby starts screaming and the hot dog drops a number two on the carpet. As if this isn't bad enough the dog believes she deserves a treat for this act so she begins barking (to get my attention). I try to feed the boy, but he's too cranky to eat, instead just swats the bottle away and screams. I pick up the number twos, quickly clean, and give the dog a treat so she shuts up. The screaming continues, so does the barking.

8:26 AM
I am somewhere in the Caribbean, sitting at a beach bar. There is a very large drink with generous amounts of alcohol sitting in front of my. The bartender is screaming...oh wait, that was just a daydream. Back to the reality party where the baby is now hitting Whitney Houston octaves and the dog is running around, barking, and just doing an overall impression of a dog out of control.

8:29 AM
RESET! I load up the baby in the stroller, go down the elevator, and take baby and the dog outside. Baby is sleeping in five minutes.

10:15 AM
Baby wakes after a 1 hour, 30 minute nap. We were back from our walk after 45 minutes, leaving approximately 40 minutes to myself. During this time I was able to make toast, get dressed (that means tee shirt and jeans - no shower), pick up the toys, clean up diaper area, log food, sleep, etc... and give the hot dog three pets before he wakes.

10:30 AM
He is eating purees twice a day. Time for morning fruits. It is quite an EVENT when you go from the bottle to purees. Click here There's the chair and then everything that is needed for the meal and cleanup including: paper towels (again, fuck rags), spoon, food, bib, sippy cup with water, and wipes for hands. The fruits are eaten and then chased down by water and formula. YUMMY!

11:00 AM
Playing with toys.

11:17 AM
We have played with ALL of his toys!

11:25 AM
Reading books.

12:15 PM
We have read ALL of his books!

12:30 PM
I remember the Exersaucer. I place him inside, this works for 5 minutes and then I can tell something is up. BIG BM! A BACK BM! For those unfamiliar with a back BM, it's when a bowel movement is so intense and high in volume it fills the diaper and heads up the back. YUMMY!

12:47 PM
After a half package of wipes and two soiled shirts (two? yes, let it go) he is cleaned up. The whole apartment now smells like one big BM.

12:55 PM
Bundle him up for walk number two.

2:20 PM
After a 45 minute walk I got 30 minutes before the "wake up call." My boy doesn't wake up casually, no, he likes to scream as if someone is poking him with a knife. FUN.

2:45 PM
After a bottle I attempt to entertain with toys (yes, more phone calls from Scout), Karate Chops (to be fair, I do a killer Mr. Miyagi impression), and Dance Parties.

3:10 PM
I just remembered I forgot to eat lunch. Quickly make and eat a peanut butter and screaming sandwich (that's what it should be called anyway).

6:10 PM
Past three hours: 1. Lap around the apartment 2. Play with toys (lots of smiles) 3. Eat two ounces of food 4. Dance Party REPEAT... No nap.

6:30 PM
Time to eat veggies, tonight is Peas. They are REALLY green and look disgusting. He eats them down quickly.

7:00 PM
Move the baby around the apartment, distracting him from his crankiness. I can usually get 5 minutes at any new location before he blows up.

7:30 PM
Prepare for the bed time shuffle: Bottle, Fill bath tub, towels, etc...

7:45 PM
Bath time - rubber duckies YEAH!

8:00 PM
Final bottle, burp, and put down for the night...

8:10 PM
Log bottles, sleep, diapers, etc.. Sit in silence. A long, exhausting day with my son. Overall, it was a great day. The smiles alone made it a good day.

8:15 PM
Microwave and eat a frozen burrito.

8:25 PM
Sleeping on the carpet in the living room floor with the hot dog. I will eventually shift my weight and land on the baby's toy phone. Scout's voice will wake me and I will want to smash the phone into a million pieces.

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David S. Grant is an author of several books, rock columnist, travel writer, and NBA blogger. Follow David on Twitter: .david_s_grant