Candid book promotion interview that raises the social awareness about living with Bipolar.
" THE GO-GETTERS"
Who is she, and where did she come from? Her story is about as "Olympic and American Dream" as they come. Soon, she will take book stores by storm with her highly anticipated book, "Cooling Well Water: A Collection of Work By An African-American Bi-Polar Woman”
M: So, Agnes tell us about growing up in Baltimore. I hear it is an extremly rough city?
A; Well, it is if you are a rough neck looking for trouble. Baltimore has always been home to me and always will be. I love the ethnic neighborhoods and the culture. Baltimore is a dynamic city offering cultural diversity and it is a progressive city with some very strong and capable leaders.
As with any other city, there are problems and needs for improvement and crime is certainly one of them. I have a lot of confidence in the current leadership and I sincerely believe that African-Americans have become very frustrated with economic stagnancy and the "Village" has been shaken up with development. The end result has trickled down to our youth who see a grim future. Baltimore is absolutely capable of turning that situation around and with the commitment of parents, schools, communities and leadership, the true beauty of Baltimore will prevail. After all, look at me!
M: We know that you raised a severly disabled child, how difficult was that?
A: Extremely difficult! However, it was God's will for me to see a segment of society that had major obstacles to overcome.
As an advocate, I am most proud that I was able to see first-hand how people of all walks and ethnicities have dignity and dreams and goals. Helping those special members of society through my own personal experiences, has gained me the best personal rewards. Despite my son's severe, multiple disabilities, I made him a "family" member like my other children. I fought for his rights as I would for my other children.
Each step of the way became an opportunity for politicians, government workers, other parents, neighbors, family and friends to understand that we each have a purpose in life and we each must look out for each other because we each are children of God first! The biggest joy in parenting my son, is his smile and coo's because he knows me from anybody else. His memory is remarkably sharp and his life has changed many people to see him through my eyes and not his labels!
M: What advice would you give to other mothers in your situation?
A: Trust in God. He really gives us nothing we cannot bear. However, we must learn to use faith as our guide and not necessarily textbook studies. Also, take time to plant the flowers for they produce a beautiful harvest of the mind, body, and spirit.
M: You have also endure a mental illness. How have you not let that get in the way of your success?
A: Faith. It was very challenging when I was first diagnosed in 1993 with Bi-Polar. I was frequently having “manic” episodes. These are better known as severe mood swings. I swung from severe depression to severe “highs.”
However, I got fed up and began praying for wisdom to live a normal life. God planted people in my life as vehicles to achieve my personal goals. I would have never escaped darkness without my children. They will always be my driving force because I want them to know through modeling that all things are possible through Jesus!
At first, I use to skip meds when I felt good. Sometimes I could not afford meds. I confided in my doc about my financial state and he helped me with samples. He also told me how to contact drug companies on my own for free meds. I routinely receive free or greatly reduced meds directly from drug companies. I began taking control of the mental illness and stopped letting it control me. I employed self-help by swallowing my pride and asking professionals to show me the way. I even swallowed my pride and asked my Pastor and I developed a closer relationship with God. Spiritual wellness became a priority for me. As they say, seek and ye shall find.
What happened next was that doors began to open for me and I liked the feeling of being productive in society. Seeing my children proud of me and happy for me was inspiring.. My disabled son was a strong force as well because I wanted to make sure people understood his purpose in life as well. I wanted to make sure his needs were met. He needed me to be his voice and I could not allow myself to be silenced. So I fought even more for stability.
Sometimes mental instability will happen. I learned to plan for those days. I surround myself with positive people who will watch over me when I cannot. I removed people from my life who made me very depressed and stressed; therefore, triggering an episode.
I also exercise and try to eat properly most days of the week. I do not skip meds any more either. Once I began taking charge of my life, I went from taking eleven medications a day gradually down to two. I trust my doctors and we approach my mental/physical wellness as a team. Lastly, the most important thing I did when I decided to take control was to educate myself about mental illness and Bi-Polarity/Depression as if I wanted to be a doctor. Knowledge is indeed power!
M: If you could tell us breifly about your rock bottom moment, since everyone has one, and how you were able to rebound with all pistons firing?
A: That would have to be the day I woke up and discovered my father had left this world. He died of colon cancer. Since learning of his impending death, I tried to prepare myself in all ways for the day he would die. Of course, one can never be fully prepared for the passing of a parent. My dad was my rock. He did not believe in depression. “Just get up!” he would say. Well, I saw that the closer he got to death and the weaker he became, he still "Just got up!" I honestly never heard him complain about his cancer.
M: When my dad died, I was filing for divorce, sent one son off to college, and placed my other son into a group home. My daughter lived with my parents. I felt myself slipping into that blackest hole of hopelessness and despair. I was homeless. Then my God-mother called me and asked me, "What are you going to do?" I was like, "About what?" and she said, "Your life."
What happened then was eerie because I heard my dad answer for me, "Just get up!" That's what I told my aunt. She told me to come to her house to stay a while and when I arrived she had me listen to Nicole Mullen's song, "Redeemer." I played it about 150 million times over and over again and by the time I was tired of listening to it, I had a plan. It was real simple. I decided I wanted to live.
M: As a part-time teacher what have your major observations concluded?
A: Our youth today are crying out for help and no one is responding fast enough it seems. Parents have abandoned their roles too long and they need to stop everything they are doing and put a firm grip on their children. Basic respect for adults and authority is non-existent. Manners are gone. Morals are gone. Values have diminished. It is sad because education is no longer taking seriously.
I believe that parents need to step back into the active role of parenting real fast because the larger society is not interested in their rude, misbehaved, illiterate children and they are our future. Like it or not, these children are our future. We must, must steer them back on track.
M: How would, or do you plan, to change that?
A: Each one, reach one! I keep it real as much as possible and I pray because many of these children simply do not know any better because no one is teaching them the fundamentals. Parents expect too much from schools and teachers and children could care less either way because they are too influenced by rappers, bling-bling. They are not in church. Also, early symptoms of Bipolar show up in children masked as ADHD, depression, etc. We need to instill mental wellness into raising all children.
M: We have heard nothing but positive feedback of your newest project, "Cooling Well Water: A Collection of Work By An African-American Bi-Polar Woman" Are you able to give us any insight on what to expect?
A: The absolutely shocking truth according to Garth, (laugh). I am taking readers inside the psyche room where I had my nervous breakdown. I am taking readers into that black pit with me. I am taking readers into a supernatural realm right with me. I am teaching every step of the way. I am also dispelling myths that all persons with Bi-Polar are stinky, crazy people. Better yet, let's help those who cannot help themselves.
Millions of people have been very productive members of our society with great accomplishments. Millions more can learn how. I cannot do it alone, but I can do it. I especially would like to see more education about this mental illness in the African-American community. We are typically the last race to get on board with wellness. Illiteracy is usually the crippling reason. We accept mental illness when we can defeat its harmful affects. However, we must understand what it is first. That will allow those afflicted with the illness and their families to manage and live in harmony with the illness and not the other way around.
M: As the owner of your own business, you certainly have taken control of the illness. You have come a long, long way from facing life in a mental institution to running your own business, writing, advocating, teaching, and soon promoting your book. Would you like to offer some words of advice to our young entrepenuers out there?
A: Don't ever, ever abandon your dreams. Dreams are like goals. They should get wider and wider. God speaks to us in dreams. If you dream it, you can achieve it. Spend time each and every day on a goal to reach that dream even if it is something simple like reading over a check list, flipping through a magazine, and competing with yourself. Talk to God about your dreams and feel free to tell Him how your dream will improve His kingdom.
This may sound silly, but once I heard a sermon that God likes to hear that. Actually, it was Quincy Jones who said it. He said that every year on his birthday he asks God to bless him with another one and he tells God all the things he still needs to do. Quincy laughed and said right now he is up to age 92. I have soooo much I want to do in this life; "God, are you listening?"
M: Wow that was very moving and even more motivating! Agnes was chosen as our candidate not because of her financial success, but her tenacity to never give up. She bottled her fears and unleashed her dreams. These are the things that it takes not only to be successful, but it is a trait that every world leader holds in his arsenal.
Nelson Mandela was quoted saying, "After being released, I had every reason to go and take over Robbin Island, but it was my dream and life ambition to liberate my country." We all know how that story ended. How will yours?
Re-Release! No longer back-listed. Return to the Olde Ways. The hustle and bustle of modern day life has brought many of us to a quick fix attitude.This book is for those of you who are fed up; have looked at your life and your loved ones and realize
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