22 year old Krystle read my manuscript and gave me her feedback. With her permission, I am posting her review here.
I finished reading your manuscript last week and I was blown away. I loved it and I was hooked! The development of the characters is amazing because I felt like I had a real notion of the type of people they were. I was particularly hooked on Dub White because I remember having class with those kind of guys and wondering what their home life was like. I wondered if their parents cared, if their behavior was a result of their parents lack of caring, etc. It was superb.
Most of all, I loved how each character found their voice and faced the town in the meeting.
You know, the one thing I love about a good book is the way it can stir me and really reach into me and pull at my core. Your manuscript really gripped me at times. It made me face a lot of bad memories I had in Red Oak during my junior high years, and even in my high school years when it started to get around that I was gay.
I have so many good things to say about your manuscript, I'm not sure how to put it all in an order that makes sense without hopping from one topic to another. Your plot was amazing. I kept summarizing each chapter to my fiance, Nicole (who happens to be African-American as well), and she loved it. She particularily loved the part about ZZ's family, as did I. I always dreamt of slapping Red Oak in the face, so I kind of liked closing my eyes and living through ZZ's story.
I thoroughly enjoyed the way you portrayed Ashley's view of the church and its "pizza parties," because it reminded me of when that circus of a church program came to town to prey on impressionable junior high kids and make them smash their CDs, etc. It brought me back to that terrible memory in junior high of when Lauren Williams died, and rather than comforting me, this youth pastor literally pulled me into his prayer circle, cluched my hands tightly, and tried to make me convert. He made everyone pray loudly over my "lost soul" and was trying to force me to make Jesus Christ my savior. It was one of the most traumatic things I've ever experienced because of the way he approached it. I'm still trying to find that youth pastor to this day because there's a lot of things I want to say to him...
The families of these characters are so well-developed too! I have perfect visuals of the type of people they are. I really loved the description of T.W's mom!!! It reminded me of this kid I went to school with because his mom was just like that!!! I loved it! My mom used to smile over-politely at those people in the mall when they'd give me dirty looks for wearing my gay pride shirts! I loved it!!
Overall, I felt like you weren't just telling a story. I felt like you were telling everyone's story. The jock, the religious people, the outcasts, the recovering, the troublemaker, the young parent... man, it was just amazing.
You've inspired me to start up my new novel (I never finish these darn things!) and get out some of the anger I have towards my aunt so it won't eat at me anymore.
So... when's the next manuscript coming out? :) Just know that you have an avid reader in me!
The sequel to Goalden Girl. Gemma's school football team is well-established. Her young step-sister Portia is also becoming a promising player, until an accident changes her life forever
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