What do you do when your partner wants to go to the theater, and you want to stay home? When there is one more cookie left, whose needs do you think about first, yours or your children? I f you did not answer in favor of yourself for either question, then you are too nice. Now is the time to be real.

Don't Be Nice, Be Real is for people whose smiles are frozen in ice. You know the kind. They compensate for the lack of love in their childhood, with a stiff grinning facade, thinking this will reciprocate kindness. When no one returns affection, they feel anger, depression and resentment. This book is the deicer. Although it might sound strange, selfishness, fun fighting and non rushing are encouraged. Saying what you honestly feel, and only listening when it's right for you, are charitable actions. Stirring negative emotions is okay. "If you notice that you have been staring at blackberries a long time, suffering from the fear of getting all bloody, the compassionate thing to do may be to run screaming into the blackberry bushes."

Kelly Bryson wrote this book from the experience of a student and a teacher. His personal testimony shows how he walked for miles in "nice" shoes, fell down emotionally, but picked himself up eventually to help others. There are plenty of sample dialogs to train the reader for verbally expressing the way they feel, without fear of retribution. I recommend this book for all nice people who fear the word no.

Judine Slaughter