##############################################
Volume 3, Number 2 March 18, 2003
Publisher: GoalMinds, Inc.
E-mail: condrill@goalminds.com http://www.goalminds.com http://www.jocondrill.com
Copyright 2003 Jo Condrill All rights reserved
##############################################
Welcome to the new subscribers who have joined us since the last edition! Thanks to our faithful subscribers who continue to find value in our newsletter.

"The joy of life is variety; the tenderest love requires to be renewed by intervals of absence."
--Samuel Johnson

If any of the links in this newsletter do not work for you, please copy and paste them into the URL or email. Note: "mailto" is not part of the email address to be pasted. Thanks.
=====================================
IN THIS ISSUE
=====================================
1. Stress Relief by Karen Mack
2. Out of Control or Taking Charge?
3. Situational Communications by Pauline Shirley
4. Hope is Not a Method (Excerpt)
======================================

PRIVACY STATEMENT: We will not distribute your address to anyone. Period.

===============================
1 Stress Relief by Karen Mack
===============================
Dr. Hans Seyle, researcher and founder in the field of stress management defines stress as "a non-specific response of the body to external demands." The average person experiences a myriad of activities during the course of a day, expressing or suppressing a range of emotions. Any activity or emotion causes stress; it is ultimately what we do about it that makes the difference. It is a cycle that begins with a stressor.

A stressor is an occurrence or demand, an internal attitude or thoughts that require some type of action. In other words, a stressor is a source of stress--an event, situation or person that acts as a trigger. Your reaction to that demand or attitude produces stress. It is not your rebelling teenager, difficult co-worker, or sudden car trouble that causes the stress you feel, it is the reactive behavior to the teenager, co-worker or car that causes your stress. There are a variety of ways we can, and do react, or respond to things that happen. Your outcome is based upon your perception of or belief about a source of stress. So what can you do? Decide to make a change.

To have more control over stressful events, change your thoughts about those events. Change your perception of what is happening and choose how you are going to respond. An effective stress manager has the ability to respond based on choice instead of simply reacting to situations. Change isn't easy, especially if you have been reacting the same way for years. It will require consistent energy and effort.

Here is a formula to help you change: E + R = O. The (E) event, plus your (R) response, equals your (O) outcome. When something happens, the way you respond to what has happened or your reaction to something someone has said will immediately determine your outcome. If you are easily angered or you know you have a tendency to "fly off the handle," try the E + R = O exercise. Jot down E + R = O on several note cards and post them everywhere. This is a reminder that it is not necessarily the source of stress that is causing the problem, it is your perception of the stressor that is the culprit.
Remember, stress is a normal part of life. It is what we do with stressful situations that make the difference.

© April 2002 by Karen Mack, Speaker, Trainer, Consultant, Personal Coach, President of Karen Mack Image Management, 611 Pennsylvania Avenue, SE • Suite 257 • Washington DC 20003, Phone: 202-546-0722 Fax 202-544-4013 kmack@karenmackimagemgmt.com
===============================
2. Out of Control or Taking Charge?
===============================
Added to our stressors today is the threat of war. Whereas once we could remain at home and let war play out in far-away places, today, the threat comes to us. When I was a civilian student at the Army War College, my research project was on civilians on the battlefield. Civilians, government and contractor employees, are a necessary part of military operations but their duties and responsibilities under fire were not very clear to many military personnel. It was intriguing research.

September 11, 2001 brought the battlefield to us on in a way we had never imagined. Thousands of civilians found themselves on the front line. Today the threat of more foreign aggression on American soil is very real. How can we go about our daily routines and even take charge of our lives? That may be difficult, but it is imperative.

The nature of the battlefield has changed. The old war movies are being rewritten. The women who stayed at home to work in the manufacturing plants and to raise the children during the Second World War--our mothers and grandmothers--set an example of how to keep the country running in time of peril. Now it's our turn to step up to the plate. What can we do?

First, decide what you're trying to accomplish. You can do a lot to reduce the stress of those around you as well as your own. Children, especially, need your protection. They reflect the attitude and moods of their parents and other adults , in large part. It's the responsibility of the parents to handle this so that it does not influence the children negatively There may be others who are dependent upon you, such as elderly parents or organizations. You need to maintain equilibrium and limit displays of negative emotions. Stay with the usual routine as much as possible.

Second, What are the obstacles? List them. Maybe you're suddenly a single parent; maybe you've been activated and now find yourself wearing a uniform. Maybe you protested against the war, exercising one of your basic freedoms as an American, and have a hard time accepting the new course of events. I have crossed protest lines to get to my desk in the Pentagon in the past, and other times, I've marched in the streets of Washington, D.C. as a sign-carrying protestor. Identify your obstacle and face it head on. Recognize it for what it is, and get on with your life. The sooner you accept what you cannot change and begin working to make what you can change better, the sooner you'll be able to help someone else cope.

Third, enroll others; form a support team, offer assistance. Focus on positive thoughts and express yourself in a positive manner so as not to excite others. Find a small safe zone to let off steam or shed a tear, a private place with peers who can offer understanding and possibly assistance. Know that other people will be looking to you for guidance and strength. If you find a lot of time on your hands, don't just volunteer and fall in line. Step aside and look around your community to see if there's a need that may have been overlooked. Be a leader and a creative thinker.

This country deserves the very best from each of us. We can't just rely on the military "over there" and the government to take care of us. Each of us can pitch in and be a force for the good of our families, our communities, and our country.

"Once you make a decision, the universe conspires
to make it happen."
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

==================================
A Millennium Primer: Take Charge of Your Life is now available in audiotape format, Take Charge of Your Life, ISBN 09661414-2-3.in bookstores and libraries as well as http://www.GoalMinds.com/

=================================
3. The Situational Communicator by Pauline Shirley
=================================
Are you a situational communicator? Or do you communicate in the same manner regardless of the situation? People who are truly effective communicators and leaders have developed the ability to communicate situationally. They choose the most effective manner appropriate for the specific situation. Examples of situational communication styles and circumstances that call for them are:
The Decider. Speaks with strength and decisiveness when a decision has to be made, now!!!
Developer. Encourages others to speak up when focusing on building a team attitude or eliciting ideas and information.
Discoverer. Listens. Uses the most important part of communicating. Listens and really hears what is being said.
Demonstrator. Speaks with enthusiasm and passion in order to persuade others.
Director. Communicates to the point, tactfully and without wishy-washy words or phrases.
Deliberator. Speaks with great consideration for other person or sensitive situation.
Definer. Elaborates, but only to the degree necessary in imparting critical details to the receiver.
Dazzler. Speaks to motivate, inspire and/or to sincerely compliment an individual or group.
Decider, Developer, Discoverer, Definer, Demonstrator, Director, Deliberator and Dazzler – Effective and successful communicators use all of these styles and more, when and as needed, to more effectively lead and accomplish objectives and goals.

The Situational Communicator © 2001 by Pauline Shirley,
Pauline Shirley presents, speaks and trains from rich leadership experiences.
She is president of Executive Solutions Unlimited of Richardson, Texas, whose mission
is to motivate, educate and inspire leaders to bring out the best in themselves…and others. She may be reached at 972/644-6430, ps@paulineshirley.com or www.paulineshirley.com. Voice 972/644-6430-- Fax 972/644-4538 - Cellular 214/450-6075

==================================
4. Hope Is Not a Method
==================================
In their book, Hope is Not a Method: What business Leaders Can Learn from America's Army, Retired General Gordon R. Sullivan, former Army Chief of Staff and Michael V. Harper write.
“The most important tool a leader uses is not a list of rules but a mind sharpened by a habit of reflection. We use three questions: What is happening? What is not happening? How can I influence the situation? Taking time to reflect is one of the hardest habits to cultivate. ‘When you are up to your neck in alligators, it is hard to remember that your task is to drain the swamp.’ But even if you are at the bottom of your sine curve, the most important imperative is that you take time to reflect, to put events into perspective.

************************************
Thanks for being with us. If you would like to be a guest author for this newsletter, please email your suggestion to us, mailto:Condrill@goalminds.com. You will get full credit if we run your article.

Please FORWARD this newsletter to anyone you know that is interested in self-development, making money writing or speaking, or just hanging out with interesting folks. If you've received this newsletter as a forward, please sign up to receive future copies by sending an email to Condrill@goalminds.com with SUBSCRIBE in the subject line.

Please tell your friends about this newsletter and recommend that they sign up.
To subscribe just type SUBSCRIBE in an email
Email Condrill@goalminds.com or go to http://www.goalminds.com/ or http://www.authorsden.com/jocondrill and sign up there.

############################
GoalMinds, Inc.
http://www.goalminds.com/
468 N. Camden Dr. #200
Beverly Hills, California 90210
Phone: 310 860-5681
Toll Free: 1 800 697-5680
FAX: 310 860-5600