Here is your June issue of Take Charge Success Strategies
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Volume 5, Number 4 June 2005
Publisher: GoalMinds, Inc.
E-mail: condrill@goalminds.com
http://www.goalminds.com
Copyright 2005 Jo Condrill All rights reserved

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'Reach high, for stars lie hidden in your soul.
Dream deep, for every dream precedes the goal.'
--Pamela Vaull Starr

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CELEBRATE! In the U.S. we are celebrating our freedom in the
land of the free and the home of the brave!

Happy Indpendence Day!

For a fantastic Fourth of July, try Washington, D.C.
Begin the day with 'America's 2005 Independence Day Parade'
right down Constitution Avenue from 7th to 17th Streets.
Join over 300,000 other spectators at 11:45 AM 'sharp' and
cheer the bands, floats, military and specialty units, and
VIPs in this flag-waving, feel-good, red white and blue
celebration of America's birthday. A National Folklife
Festival on the Mall will feature different cultures in the
Americas. Find your spot on the grass, put your blanket down
and have a picnic. In the evening, settle down and enjoy the
National Symphony Orchestra on the west side of the Capitol
Building then watch one of the country's largest fireworks
displays. There's nothing quite like being in the Nation's
Capital on the Fourth of July.
If you can't be there, join in your local celebrations, but
please make flag-waving one of your activities.
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The Gift of Freedom
'Those who give up liberty for safety, deserve
neither liberty nor safety!'
--Ben Franklin
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IN THIS ISSUE
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1. Short Cut to Istanbul

2. What Is Your Listening Style?
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1. SHORTCUT TO ISTANBUL

Have you ever taken a shortcut with surprising results? What
happens when we try to cut in line, get a break, or a lucky
deal? Aren't we so often embarrassed that we reject short
cuts and just take the long way around? Let me tell you
about the most memorable short cut I've ever taken.

Chanakkale is hard to explain. It's on the Dardanelles or
the Chanakkale Straits which connect the Mediterranean and
the Agean Seas to the Marmara and Black Seas. Even if you
can't envision it, you know right away there's a lot of
seacoast around. Chanakkale was a history lesson for me.
Hundreds of thousands of soldiers and sailors from the
United Kingdon, Australian, New Zeland, and Turkey lost
their lives on the shores of this strait in Gallipoli during
World War I. And, yes, parts of the movie 'Troy' were shot
there. They built a Trojan Horse right in front of our hotel
for it!

After visiting Troy and seeing the 'real' Trojan Horse, we
were bound for Istanbul from Chanakkale. It was a dash to
catch the early morning ferry to the opposite shore, and
after a short twenty minute crossing, we hit the road.
Broad, well-maintained highways stretched out before us and
we made good time. Soon, though, the signs were pointing to
Istanbul in one direction and we were going another--toward
the shoreline. My host, Dr. Spassimir Gazdov, who was the
navigator riding in the front passenger seat, explained that
there was another road that would get us there quicker, with
less traffic. I had known him and his wife, Krassi, for
several years and trusted them implicitly. We met in a
Rotary Club near Washington, DC. However, I had just met the
driver, Hristo Penov and his wife, Hristina, and I was the
first American they had ever met. What do you do when you
lose control and circumstances are all but clear? When it's
a peaceful situation you can sit back and watch events
unfold.

Almost immediately after leaving the major highway, we were
in the middle of a very small village and the broad roadway
had dwindled to two dusty paved lanes. Farm animals and
farmers were close by. We were having a good time and barely
noticed, until the road narrowed to one paved lane and then
gave out all together. We were following tracks in the dirt,
high above the sea, with a mountainside rising directly
above us on the left. Never mind that adage about men never
asking for directions. Dr. Spas asked several times; but his
command of Turkish was limited and the natives did not speak
Bulgarian or English. Photos coming soon on
http://www.goalminds.com/ShortCut.html

We were not on a time table, so we decided to relax and
enjoy the ride. We even went inside with the owner of a home
being built with a fantastic view of the sea in one of the
larger villages along the way. Isn't it fun to communicate
with someone when no one knows the other's language?
Amazing, isn't it, how we can get our messages
across when we really want to? Krassi interpreted for me
with our Bulgarian friends, but Turkish was beyond us all!

Just when we had resigned ourselves to a hopeless highway
situation, Dr. Spas looked up--at the crest of the mountain
was a shepherd and his flock. They were silhouetted against
the bright blue sky. We had to lean out of the right side of
the car--the downhill side--and crane our necks to see them.
The road had no shoulder. A memorable glimpse was all we
had. About that time, a tiny stream of water trickled across
the tracks in the dirt ahead of us and seemed to be taking
some of the dirt with it down the hill. How much more
perilous could this get? When we saw a car that had rolled
off the roadway down the hillside and rested on its top in
the field, we knew.

We all breathed a sigh of relief when we reached the main
road again. Hristo apologied again and again for taking the
short cut--but why? How ordinary the highway to Istanbul
would have been. We had a great adventure, a marvelous
experience of letting go. None of us, I believe, will
ever forget our short cut to Istanbul! It binds us in a
special way.

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'We are made to persist.
That's how we find out who we are.'
--Tobias Wolff

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2. What Is Your Listening Style?
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Experts estimate that people filter out or change the
intended meaning of what they hear in 70 percent of
communications. The biggest contributing factor to
miscommunication is using a listening approach that is not
appropriate for either the environment or for the message
being communicated. Effective listeners consider not only
their own intentions, but also the intentions of the
speaker.

Because our listening styles reflect our unspoken values and
motivations, we often assume that others will have listening
styles that are similar to our own. When others do not share
our style, the chances of a miscommunication significantly
increase. Even more important, we frequently misinterpret
the real meaning of this miscommunication. Given your
listening style, you may expect others to place as much
value on emotional expression as you do. Consequently, you
may assume that others are attentive to emotional cues and
understand the unspoken feelings that you might be
communicating as a speaker. When others do not acknowledge
such cues, you may interpret their actions as uncaring or
indifferent. You should be aware that those who have a non-
empathic manner of interaction may demonstrate appreciation,
trust, or affection in a more sober fashion than you
typically expect.

Effective communication is much more than learning how to
express your thoughts; it is also learning how to adapt your
listening style in varying situations. You can do this when
you know what your listening style is. Your style is a way
of listening that comes most naturally to you. Your
listening approach is a situational behavior. We get into
trouble when we use a listening approach that is
inappropriate for the situation but in keeping with our
listening style.

One participant in a Listening seminar shared her
enlightment with the group. After completing the Profile,
she said, she realized that when communicating with her
husband at home she was using the same evaluative listening
style that she used at work. She was critiqueing the events
he told her about rather simply enjoying the conversation in
an appreciative manner. He was sharing events with her and
not asking how he could have acted more effectively. She
stated that there was a marked improvement in their
relationship once she changed her listening approach.

The Personal Listening Profile developed by Inscape
Publishing, Inc. helps individuals determine their preferred
listening style. It also provides a gap analysis that
displays the interaction between different listening
approaches and different message goals and then homes in on
your specific strengths and challenges.

In my own Personal Listening Profile feedback, I was
cautioned that 'Because you are a highly comprehensive
listener, you may assume that others are as focused on the
big picture as you are. Consequently, your speaking and
listening may gravitate toward the abstract or conceptual.
Sometimes your listeners will be searching for concrete
details while you are concerned with communicating the
underlying ideas that give those details meaning.' It went
on to express my 'growth areas,' weaknesses, in Appreciative
and Evaluative listening approaches.

The Personal Listening Profile(R) is a highly reliable
instrument that can be used with confidence. Order and
complete the Profile today. Begin now to fill the
gaps in your communication effectiveness.
http://www.goalminds.com/perlistprof.html
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'A human being's first responsibility is to shake
hands with himself. Assumptions are the termites of
relationships.'
--Henry Winkler
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NEW Fourth Edition of '101 Ways to Improve Your
Communication Skills Instantly,' by Bennie Bough, Ph.D.
and Jo Condrill, is just off the press. Crisp, clear
tips and techniques presented bullet style. 'An
excellent, provocative view into the minds and hearts of
communicators, organized for maximum effectiveness.' The
Book Reader. Order now and save $5.00.
http://tinyurl.com/a5w45

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