Books by Cynth'ya Lewis Reed

This is gonna be a quick and dirty, 'cause I'm a woman who likes to keep promises.

You want a newsletter the last day of the month, by-whoopi-doos you're gonna get one. But it'll be in my own version of abbreviated verbage. Only the ones with the dimmer switch on high will be able to figure this out, and if not, there's always the excuse which is the title of this newletter, "T(his) "W"(riter) "I"(s) "R"eally "P"(eculiar), i.e. TWIRP.

I think I said something about communication, eating emotionally, and so on and so forth. Well, can that. Ain't got time and Vacation Bible School starts in 4 hours, leaving me 2 hours to sleep, 15 minutes to splash and dress, and the rest of the time for me to figure out what day it is. But alas, back to the abbreviated news for the month of June:

A. At last, lost 5 pounds and kept it off

B. Best done with lots of fruits, veggies and protein bars (ours tastes like candy. Would I lie to you?)

C. Communication breakdown, gettin' mad at the spouse? Don't eat ice cream? Just chug a liter of water and eat plain yogurt. Then write a poem to sooth the stress.

D. Do a little volunteer work at the local hospital (i.e. medical monopoly) and walk all ten floors. Take the stairs. Wear a cute pink jacket and raise your self esteem being known as "the pink color'd lady."

E. Extra careful with the food around holidays. Promise yourself that you will suck no bones of swine before you lose 15 more pounds or you will lose your mind.

F. Find a place to get away from EVERYBODY!!! Eases the tension to chow down on something not so good that begins with the words "high glucose corn syrup."

G. Go out and meet others who have the same problem as you do with your weight, and then look at old before-pictures of Richard Simmons. You'll feel a lot better about yourself.

H. Hang up on bill collectors BEFORE they say "May I speak with. . . " (Click.)

J. Jump up and down in the house for no reason at all. Make sure you work up a sweat, and no one will want to be around you. Now THAT's serenity.

K. Keep writing, keep writing, keep wrigt, (or shoot, error, correction. . . ) writing, and that's enough to burn up the peanut butter cookie you just ate.

L. Leave the homes of the relatives who get on your nerves before they have a chance to trigger that overeating mechanism. Just stop by to say "hi" on the way to somewhere else, even if it's just to pull up to a stoplight down the street to watch it change. That's a good enough excuse.

M. Make sweet love, and don't overswallow, there's a better source of protein than that.

(Next half of the alphabet, and, in the words of Popeye the Sailor Dude, I y'aims ta bein' slimmer than Wimpy buts fatter than Olive Oyl." And spinach salad is my favorite desert.

blessin's, so until July 31, Happy Freworks Day, make more fireworks this November on Election Day.

cynth'ya