Been reading some lately about folks who have taken to gambling for recreation and have decided to get right in on the ground floor. After some heavy research, I've come up with a few conclusions.
1. That determined look you see on the face of folks sitting at the slot machines isn't one of "It's about to hit if I just keep feeding it". In reality, they are so doggoned determined to spend their last grocery money that they don't want to take the time to go to the bathroom.
2. The next is that little old gray haired lady in the wheelchair. For a lifetime, she's smoked three packs of Marlboros a day. Now she carries an oxygen tank on her wheelchair. She's slamming quarters into the slot machines and needs a cigarette real bad. Lots of tension ya know... So she pulls off the oxygen mask and takes a heavy drag from the very cigarette that is trying to kill her. In the oxygen rich environment, the whole cigarette burns down to the filter, but the grin on her face tells me that she's happy. Kinda reminds me of holding your face above the smokey campfire and taking a deep breath.
3. An old friend of mine back in the time of the (not so) great war in Asia made payday something to be feared. He'd get his massive paycheck and head to the exchange to buy razor blades and toothpaste. That done, he'd take what was left to the bank and exchange all the greenbacks for quarters. Then he'd find the nearest slot machine and feed it until he was broke again. Sometimes this took nearly all night. He wouldn't break stride even when a rocket attack would begin. Sometimes he'd win the $375.00 jackpot, but that only made him stay a bit longer.
4. So, after these observations, I headed to the nearest machine to see if I could win the vast fortunes I'd heard about. I stopped at the carwash and fed it a $10.00 bill. All of a sudden it started to spit out quarters. Now, I'm not talking about just a few. That thing just kept up the "kerchunking" for a very long time. When it finally finished, there was a huge pile of shiney quarters there to count. I jammed them quickly into my pocket and when I got home I counted them. Yup, there were 40 of them. Now you show me any casino that pays that well.

So, now I've quit gambling and I can truthfully say that I've never lost a cent to the casino's. It was quite an adventure but at this ripe old age, I think I'll rest for a while, at least until the next adventure beckons me.

And so from the land of tall tales and tall pines, I wish you well.

Best Regards
Ron

www.ronshepherd.com