The Alert Parent, QueenPower and Living Happily Ever After Today...all rolled into one!
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Hi, All!

Welcome new subscribers. Another newspaper picked up the "Alert Parent" column this week. And another is thinking about it. Also, one of my area Girl Scout groups will be running a selected column monthly in their newsletters.

If you'd like your newspaper or organization to carry the column, would love to hear from you to help make that happen. Currently, I am not charging for it's use as long as I retain all rights to the columns.

My family and community survived the tornadoes last night, but nearby some were not as fortunate. Please keep those individuals in your hearts and minds today as they begin the clean up process.

And now for our feature articles...

Allyn Evans
info@allynevans.com
www.allynevans.com

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FEATURE ARTICLE #1: The Marshmallow Study
www.thealertparent.blogspot.com

Don't let the title fool you...this short column will be of interest to everyone...even if you don't like marshmallows. :)

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FEATURE ARTICLE #2: Our Truest Self: A Woman Who Chooses Her Thoughts and Feelings
www.allynevans.blogspot.com

Author Janice Lundy gives us much to think about.

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For your convenience both articles are posted below.

FEATURE ARTICLE #1: The Marshmallow Study

We live in a world of instant gratification and convenience. Fast food. Email. Text messages. Twitter. Grab the remote and fast forward. With the right television package we can have over 400+ channels.

Thanks to technology no one has to endure anything. Our world is filled with immediate answers and instant relief.

What does this mean for our children?

It means they can’t wait. It means they want it all. Now.

According to Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, the inability to delay gratification is a big deal. “There is a perhaps no psychological skill more fundamental than resisting impulse. It is the root of all emotional self - control, since all emotions, by their very nature, lead to one or another impulse to act.”

Delayed gratification or the ability to allow reason to rule over impulse is but one indicator of EQ.
Emotional intelligence (EQ) equates to emotional maturity and social adeptness and turns out to be predictive of success later in life.

It only took two marshmallows to foretell which children would have a better life experience in a Stanford University experiment where a researcher asked four - year - old children to make a choice. The child could have a marshmallow immediately, or could wait approximately fifteen to twenty minutes and get two marshmallows.
After explaining how everything worked, the researcher left the child with one marshmallow.

About one - third of the children couldn’t wait. The minute the door closed the “grabbers” ate the marshmallow. The remaining two - thirds had staying power. Each child used different strategies, but all who waited did so by distracting themselves. Some covered their eyes. Others sang songs, talked to themselves or played hand games. A few even tried sleeping.

The researchers checked up the children when they reached high school. Turned out the ability to wait for two marshmallows translated into important things. Surveys filled out by parents and teachers found the grabbers tended to be lonely, stubborn, envious and easily frustrated. Typically the grabbers didn’t do well under stress and had a tendency to avoid challenges.

In contrast, the “delayers” reportedly coped better than their grabbing peers and ended up being more socially competent, dependable, responsible and self - assured. The differences also showed up in test scores, with grabbers scoring more than 200 points below delayers on the SAT.

Now imagine your child faced with the same situation. What do you think he or she would do at the age of four?

Even if you think your child would have been a grabber, there is good news. Proponents tell us EQ can be changed or, better yet, enhanced.

Last week I talked to teenagers at a local technology center about this subject. Each student had taken an EQ test. The students’ scores graded EQ components like self - esteem, interpersonal skills, stress management, drive/motivation, and decision - making. As might be expected, some students were better prepared to handle stressful situations while others scored higher on empathy or decision making. Yes, there were even a few who had grabber issues.

I had been asked to help them understand change was possible—that they could improve their emotional maturity. Whether or not they do will be up to the individuals. Do they want more control or better social skills? It will take their desires and efforts to make a difference in their own lives.

The exciting news is that they can.

Difficulty in delaying gratification isn’t just a child’s problem…it’s reflected in adults’ fiances, diets, and relationships. Marshmallows aren’t required to teach your children—the best learning experience you can give them is to teach by example.

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FEATURE ARTICLE #2:

A Woman Who Chooses Her Thoughts and Feelings

On average, 60,000 thoughts a day run through our minds, most of them not of our own choosing. They are random thoughts. Thoughts about the past, overshadowed by worry or regret, or thoughts about the future, dominated by more worry or fear.

If we desire to live as our truest self, a woman who is naturally peaceful, confident, joyful, and loving, it is important that we develop a new relationship with our thoughts, as well as the feelings that accompany them.

We can do so by beginning to observe—simply notice—the content of these thoughts and where they lead us. We can ask ourselves: Does their presence take me into a greater daily experience of peace, love, or joy? Or do these thoughts keep me bound up in worry, self - doubt, fear, or lack? Then, because we desire to live in an enlightened manner, we pledge to redirect our thinking. This, in fact, is the third Transformational Truth of twelve in Your Truest Self: “I Choose Thoughts and Feelings That Honor My Sacred Self.”

To begin to track our thoughts, words, and actions requires one very important skill—the ability to access silence. It is impossible to get in touch with our thoughts and feelings if we cannot get quiet enough to listen. We must begin to clear out our mind clutter and create room for peace, love, and joy to dwell. For this very reason, periods of silence - infused solitude are vital to our life journey.

One of the most effective methods for working with our thoughts is through the practice of journaling. It is one of the best ways I know to look at what is being said within our mind. Journaling offers a powerful opportunity for self - reflection and self - correction. Once we have taken note of our thoughts, we can tell the truth about ourselves, and begin to remake our lives. We can set a powerful intention to live a new way.

The next step is to redirect our thoughts and feelings. We assess if we are living in alignment. Alignment is a state of being whereby our thoughts, words, and actions are “in sync,” each one in harmony with the other. Each builds upon the other to take us into an embodied experience of our truest self—or not.

For example, if we say we love others but speak badly or gossip about them, we are not in alignment. Our thoughts and feelings do not match our actions. In fact, they are a contradiction. If we say that we desire peace in the world but have feelings of anger, bitterness, or resentment toward others, we are not walking our talk. We are not in alignment.

We change this, we change ourselves, by noticing the nature of our thoughts, then consciously choosing only those that bring us into alignment with our highest desires—the virtues to which we aspire. This process is one of the highest forms of spiritual practice in which we can engage.

This is the call and the challenge being issued to us today. Are we ready to answer? I sincerely hope so, for when we take the first steps to live as the peace - filled women we are meant to be, the world itself will begin to change for the better.

©2009, Janice Lynne Lundy
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Have a great week!