Here you have Happily Ever After Today, The Alert Parent and QueenPower.com all rolled into to one!
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hi All!

And welcome new subscribers. Enjoy the feature articles. To read the articles without leaving your email inbox, scroll down below.

Take care, Allyn Evans
www.allynevans.com

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
FEATURE ARTICLE #1: They are Back! AI Wannabes
www.thealertparent.blogspot.com
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
FEATURE ARTICLE #2: Just Say No!
www.allynevans.blogspot.com
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

You'll find the complete articles below:

FEATURE ARTICLE #1:
Something ain't right in American Idol land. My family likes the “try - out”shows of AI. I hate them. My husband says they’re staged.

“But that guy is crying.” I reach for my stomach. It hurts. “He thinks he can sing.”

My husband laughs. “They have to be acting. They have to be. Listen to that guy.”

Research tells me some of the performers are for real. My question is why so many hopefuls believe they are the next American Idol. All I can believe is that they’re tone deaf.

Are their parents, cousins, co - workers and friends tone deaf, too?

According to a recent poll thirty - one percent of American teenagers believe one day they will be famous. Author Jake Halpern tells us in Fame Junkies that 43.4 percent of teenage girls want to be a celebrity assistant. Why? If they can't be famous themselves, they can at least “smell the red carpet.”

Haplern cites Sycracuse University Pop Culture Professor Robert Thompson who is bothered by “the disconnect from reality.” It’s also troublesome that so many of our “famous” people right now don’t necessarily have something of value to give audiences. Simply being on a reality - based TV show can bring a person recognition, and thus some degree of fame.

CNN journalist Todd Leopold says, “Put these wildly popular shows in the context of an individualistic youth culture with an increasing sense of personal entitlement, and fame almost becomes a birthright.” He also quotes Halpern: “In fact, results of high school and college student personality studies indicate both narcissism and a sense of entitlement have risen in recent years.”

Steven Pressfield, author of Baggar Vance, makes a differing point: “We are not born with unlimited choices. We can't be anything we want to be.”

After listening to hours and hours of people who don't know otherwise, I have no doubt American Idol judge Simon Cowell would agree.

Fact: I cannot be a professional quarterback. For beginners, I'm female and throw like a girl. There are plenty more reasons why I’ll never be Eli or Peyton Manning. But at least I get it. At least I have no delusions of grandeur.

Something else I will never be is an American Idol. Forget that I'm too old. I'm neither tone deaf nor delusional. Even though I can carry a tune, I am not Carrie Underwood or Fantasia. This I know.

Pressfield says something else important, “We must do ‘our’ work for its own sake, not for fortune or attention or applause.” It's the key ingredient AI contestants are missing. It’s the key we want our children to have while they are reaching for their dreams.

Overnight IA sensation William Hung’s off - key rendition of Ricky Martin's “She Bang” in 2004 made him a pop culture oddity.

Audiences paid to see him and a record company signed him on the dotted line.

During the audition Simon told him: “You can't sing, you can't dance, so what do you want me to say?”

Even though the AI judges said no, Hung got the attention, applause and money anyway, but most AI wannabes haven't been as lucky.

Fact: The participants aren’t doing it for the money because usually there is no money. Even a tone - deaf observer will eventually stop clapping. In time the attention and applause will go away.

All in all, American Idol can be seen as just plain fun, but what can parents do to encourage their children to turn their efforts toward developing real skills and talents, and to recognize and utilize value in our culture? That will be an issue we will explore through - out the year.

FEATURE ARTICLE #2:

No—the pearl in a woman’s mouth that would shake the very foundations of the Kingdom. A word that for many of us sounds rude and uncaring and dangerous. Most of us can’t get that word out of our mouths. If patience is a virtue, and other people’s opinions are more valid than ours, what right do we have to say no? When your job is to take care of people, and their needs come first, saying no can threaten your identity.

Many of the women I interviewed felt taking care of other people’s needs was simply part of the duties of a mother and a wife. One woman said, “I think it’s learned behavior. I know that my mother did it. It’s almost like if you put yourself first, then you feel guilty. There is a lot of guilt in being a woman.” Another took the responsibility of others first even further. “It’s really dumb. If I have something that someone wants, I might as well give it to them because I can’t enjoy it anymore.” She said, “It’s not saying no that’s hard.”

The inability to say no is driven by our desire for approval from others. Saying no is selfish. If you are selfish, you are guilty. And worse than that, nobody will love you. “I would transport the computer to and from work so that I could work on my writing at home,” one interviewee reported. “My husband would end up playing games on it. He didn’t understand why I would get so crazy. He always told me that he’d get off of it if I wanted him to. Once I’d get him off, my mind was so agitated, as well as guilt - filled, I couldn’t settle back down to work—telling him he couldn’t use it or asking him to get off of it felt like an act of violence.”

A forty - year - old subject shared a similar story, “Yes, I do this with everybody. For example, I stopped by to say hello to someone that was going to be a guest lecturer. I didn’t have a babysitter for my son, but wanted to say hello and explain why I couldn’t attend. I ended up staying (with my son in tow) even though I had dinner in the oven! By the time I got home, my supper was burned, my son was starving and it was all because I couldn’t say no to this person.”

As I entered my teen years, “No” was my mantra. The trouble was I had no middle ground. If I wasn’t going to agree with a lady - like compliance, then saying no became an act of rebellion. A selfish act. I truly believed when I said “no,” I was bad, a selfish person, and I went out of my way to prove it. I wouldn’t give a guest the best seat. I would grab the largest slice of cake—and even, oh horrors—take the very last piece on the tray. I knew that being selfish was almost a criminal act, but saying “no” was even worse. Not giving my time or myself made me a criminal of the heart.

Men are taught that it is okay to be more direct. Women are more concerned about hurting feelings or not wanting people mad at you. Even though I knew how to say no, I didn’t know how to deal with the aftermath and found myself often fretting about the reaction of others.
Our inability to say no means we take on countless tasks we don’t wish to do, or even need to do. It means we dismiss our own needs as frivolous. Or when we are determined to put ourselves first, we often feel as if we have gone beyond the pale, we see ourselves as outlaws. For whatever reason, the truth is saying no feels wrong to us.

Too bad. Saying and meaning the word “no” potentially brings us the most peace.

But over time, with enough pressure from those who surrounded you who seemed convinced that their practiced way was more valid than your way (and, therefore, ultimately better), you gradually begin to release your determination to guide your own life.
—Esther Hicks

Excerpted from "Grab the Queen Power"