Living Happily Ever Today, Queen Power and The Alert Parent all rolled into one!
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Hi, All!

Enjoy this week's ezine. For those who are interested in the Alert Parent articles/columns, please also read about the discount being offered from a company who sells parental control software (see info listed with feature article link below).

AND...the first person to contact me via email before Friday at 5:00 p.m. CST will receive a f.r.e.e. version of the PCPandora software. I'll mail you ($100 value with software and memory stick)the software! Please note this is not a good option for you if you don't have separate accounts for all users on your PC or don't use Microsoft Windows.

Enjoy your week! I'll tell you what I was up to next time I write. :)

P.S. Don't forget if you'd rather not click on the links, you can read the text versions of the articles below. And, feel free to share this newsletter with anyone (even the discount info).

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FEATURE ARTICLE #1: Dare to Accept Change
www.allynevans.blogspot.com
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FEATURE ARTICLE #2: Nag, Nag, Go Away
www.thealertparent.blogspot.com

Here's more about the parental control software and access codes.

I will be a presenter at the Girl Scout University program in OKC this weekend. The topic is Internet Safety for parents. The good news is that all my subscribers who are interested in such things can access information about Internet safety from the Alert Parent blog.

Additionally, a representative from PCPandora has given me a way to offer you 10% off their software. It is for my presentation, but Ken has given me permission to share with you as well. The reviews I had read are positive. However, if you do not set up your children's accounts separately from your own and don't use Microsoft Windows, this software is NOT for you. If you have an interest in checking the software out, please visit: www.pcpandora.com

What Ken wrote: The Discount!!! We want the attendees of The Alert Parent presentation to feel safe and secure with their PCs. That’s why we are offering a special discount. If you decide to purchase PC Pandora, use this special code at checkout to receive $10 off! $10 off the normal $70 price)CODE: ALERTPARENT(This covers two PCs at home for $60.)

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FEATURE ARTICLES posted below:

Article #1 - - Dare to Accept Change

I love this quotation. Unfortunately, I don't know who to give credit to for it. "We can't change what happened, but we can change what is happening now."



Okay. So things aren't going quite like you planned. Maybe you're a little frustrated. Or sad. Maybe you are mad as hell. Doesn't matter. Your emotions—you know how you feel about it—are your first clue.

So now...here's where you pull up your bootstraps and take stock. Not too long ago I read something Bob Monroe wrote about taking stock. I liked the exercise and want to share with you.


He said, "The major underlying cause of human worry relates to the Law of Change....Some worry that change will take place, others that it will not." Think about where you fit. He also reminded us to understand there are things we tend to worry about that are simply out of our control. For example, we can't change the weather no matter how badly we want to have our pic - nic. You cannot control the stockmarket or how someone will react to you or a situation.


To move away from a state of worry or angst consider the following exercise (also attributed to Monroe).

Reality Check:
Make up a list (called list A). Place on this list all your worries and concerns you can't fix, control or change. On this list place all the things you cannot control.


Make up a list (called list B). Place on this list all your worries and concerns that you can do something today.


Make up a list (called list C). Place on this list all your needs, hopes and desires whether large or small, which have yet to be fulfilled.


Now...


Take List A and throw it away. Allow the destroying of this list to be permission to yourself to let go of the worries and concerns you have included.

Take List B and take action today to eleviate some of your stress. Pay attention and do something about at least one issue listed. Simply by acknowledging and making decisions about actions to take, you are making your load lighter.


Take List C and target at least one item to address, whether large or small, that moves you in the direction of your goals and aspirations.


Continue this process until you have no List A, no List B and all of your energy can be focused on List C.


The above is a rather simplistic way to explain. And of course, new things will appear in your life that will need to be added to either List A or B. But if you continue to work the lists and rid yourself of the things that don't serve you and to make decisions about how to handle others, you will find yourself in a much better place...promise.


Here's another exercise you might find useful.


Examine What's Stopping You and What's Pulling At You:

I am afraid of ...
Before I did something about it I had to include things like speaking in public, asking people for favors or asking people to help me or telling people I wanted something from them (like a job or contract work).

I owe _____ money ...
Many do. If you are one of those folks who is feeling squeezed right now, then face it. Put it on paper. Make a plan. Call your creditors and establish payments. Seek advice.

Some other questions to consider—

I feel ...
I want ...
I need ...
I am ...
I weigh ...
Add any other statement you need to wrap up your reality check.

Now that you have a good idea of where you are. Consider what you want to change. Take steps to begin changing it...immediately. Don't think you have to take on each issue at the same time. Pick one to three that are most pressing and start from there. While you do this relax about the rest of it and don't get bogged down in the "how". But most importantly, don't worry too much about the outcome. In time, as you make changes, you WILL find yourself in a different place, which will also need to be evaluated.

Have you ever heard the ship metaphor? Think of it like being the captain of a ship. The compass (okay, it's much more sophisticated than that now, but go with me here) is there to help you stay on course. When you've strayed a little off course (which you always will d0) the compass gives you feedback.

A captain will keep adjusting her course to get to her destination. Consider the feedback you get from your emotions as well as the feedback you get when you evaluate the plans/goals you have made as course adjustments.


"Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever."
—Kerri Russell

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Article #2 - - Nag, Nag, Go Away

“Do this.” “Do that.” “Hurry.” “Go.” As a mom, I had plenty of stuff to boss about. Borrowing from Larry the Cable Guy, I even threw in a few “Git - R - done now.”

I don’t know about you, but I was ready to stick a fork in it. I was done. Finished. No longer willing to be The Nag.

Untangling the nagging web, though, is easier to write about than do, but I’m offering you my example.

Addy and I sat down together. I told her I thought it was time for her to take on more responsibility, and explained that I would no longer repeatedly remind her of her “things - to - do” list. Let’s say Addy took it well if giddy can be construed as taking it well. This nagging thing hadn’t been working for her either.

I outlined the new plan.

“Each day after school we will discuss your schedule and the tasks (like homework, chores) that need to be finished by bedtime,” I said.

Then I explained that she’d have to map out the plan, which included estimating time of completion and targeting times to begin activities. “It will be your responsibility to finish all tasks before bedtime.”

To help her track time, I gave her a timer. “You can use your cell phone clock, if you’d prefer. I will give you only one reminder for each task.”

“What happens if I don’t finish everything by bedtime or forget something?”

“You will have a consequence.”

The consequence took me a little time to figure out. I had to pick something that mattered to her and didn’t put much of a burden on me.

I was fortunate to have recently listened to girls talk on this subject. One of them had been grounded for a week. She said, “Yep, I can’t get on the computer. Like I care. I don’t even like it very much.”

Thank you, girls, for the insight. Determined to find a consequence that packed a punch, I considered my options.

I immediately ruled out money. Addy doesn’t really care (at least at this stage in the game) if I take away her money or not. She once told me, “You buy me all the important stuff—like clothes and food—the rest is not a big deal to me.” Unfortunately for Addy, I was listening. Okay. Money was off the table. There was no punch.

Taking away her phone was not an option because it’s a safety issue for us.

I considered sending her to her room, but quickly crossed this off the list. She enjoys her room and loves to read and write.

The best consequence I could dole out was taking away computer time after school and on weekends. I could also take away the cell phone when she’s at home. I explained, “For each violation, you’ll have to stay off the computer for one day. Whenever you have a consequence, your cell phone will also be off limits when you are at home.”

“So we understand each other?”

“Yes, mom.”

Now that we’ve put our little plan in motion, I am surprised I didn’t think of this sooner. Besides taking me out of the nag business, it hands over more self - responsibility to Addy. The former felt more like begging and pleading (on my part) and opened the door wide open to back talk from a frustrated child.

It’s been a month since the Nag was put to rest. I’m happy. Addy’s happy. And so far I haven’t had to take away one day of computer or home cell phone time.


www.allynevans.com
info@allynevans.com