Hi, All!

Hope your summer is going well. I tend to slow my work pace in the summer...so you might find that your ezines will be less frequently sent.

No worries...it's just summer time fun that is interfering.

The main reason I am sending out the ezine this week is to share the new article on the Parenting Column blog.

It's about finally saying yes to my daughter. Yes, she's officially like so many others...a FBer. And so am I.

This article will tell you how to say yes (if the time is right) with specific instructions on how to do so in a safe manner. I will continue to write about this topic (info about pictures and personal information, for example) as the weeks go by.

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To read the article, visit:
www.thealertparent.com
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If you'd like to read it right here. Scroll down.

Before posting the article below, I wanted to let you know that I am giving away ebook copies of my first book for a limited time. I am in the process of republishing, which basically means my first book is getting a facelift!

If you are interested in receiving this gift, email me: info@allynevans.com. Please put "Gift Copy of QP" in the subject line.

Hope your summer is going well! :)

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Article: Oh No Facebook Again!


“Can I please have a Facebook account now, Mom?”

I raised my hand. I didn’t even have to add, “Talk to the hand,” for her to get the message.

She kept talking anyway. “Listen to me. It’s important.”

I listened.

I had known this day was coming, and it had arrived.

Let’s face it. Social networking is one way kids keep connected. Cell phones are typically the first experience and social networking is not far behind. I knew it would be an important social connection for her. I knew that by insisting she not be “connected” with her friends that it could impede her friend - making and networking abilities.

I had already decided that I needed to “allow” her to join the FB ranks the next time she asked. Didn’t and doesn’t take away my concern for her safety, but measures existed to make it work for both of us. I just had to figure them out.

“Okay,” I told her, “…if we can figure out how I can monitor everything.”

She was giddy.

For a full seven days I heard, “Have you figured it out? Have you signed up yet, Mom?” Of course, I was doing everything in my power to put it off. Eventually, I set aside a block of time and got to work on solving the FB challenge.

Here’s how we set up what I consider to be a safe environment for Addy to have her own Facebook account.

I receive a copy of every email notification she receives which includes any external communication from friends or strangers. If you think this is a violation of privacy, get over that idea right now. It’s public information that many others can read, including her teachers and parents of friends/boyfriends and later, her prospective employers.

I also have in my possession her username and password and explained up front that I will use them. If she ever changes them without giving me the keys, we will have a violation of our FB contract. Another condition is that I have to be an “accepted” friend of her network. This doesn’t mean I go posting things on her wall (that’s FB talk for public broadcast). It simply means that she is fully aware that I am looking and evaluating information that is posted on her pages, including words, messages and photographs.

We also have the strictest of privacy settings established. We talk constantly about notifications she’s received and other activities she does on FB.

So how do you get email notifications every time a transaction takes place? You sign your child up to have a gmail.com account and then you set the gmail.com settings to send all the FB generated emails to your e - mail address. If you need specific help doing this, you can visit www.thealertparent.com and look for “Gmail” articles. There are two—one about Gmail and the other a step - by - step how - to - set - up article.

Interestingly, getting on Facebook—something I have resisted for a long time, by the way—has been fun for me, too. I am catching up with old friends, especially friends from high school. I now know that Pat W. lives in Conway, Keith K. lives in Cleveland and Darryl D.’s kids are talented singers. Several of us have reminisced about our elementary school experience. Yes, it’s an excellent vehicle for connecting. I can see now that if I had continued to forbid Addy from being on FB, I would have denied her an important social experience. No, I wouldn’t have started her any earlier, but I’m glad that we are on FB now. More to follow soon…

Allyn Evans
info@allynevans.com
www.thealertparent.com