Okay, it's only the fourth newsletter. I just wanted to see if you were paying attention.


*** UPDATE ***

The little tongue-in-cheek excerpt in my last newsletter got me in big trouble with Dr. Marquis de Sade (not his real name). His lawyers have advised me to cease and desist any groundless claims about pain and torture at the hands of my dentist--a lovely man who would never consider suing a poor starving writer. So, for now, the continuing saga of DIE, DENTIST, DIE!!! is on hold indefinitely. However, I just finished my taxes, so I'm seriously considering a sequel called DIE, IRS, DIE!!!


*** CONTESTS! ***

Winner of the plush Valentine Bear was Elaine Warfield. Congratulations Elaine! The first two contest entries were only seconds apart, so I decided to award a second-place prize. Congratulations to Liz Delisi, who won a free download of ENCHANTED COTTAGE. (She loved it, by the way!)

Here's the scoop on the new contest. Put your creative beanies on and NAME MY NEWSLETTER! I want something distinctive, something exciting, something that people won't accidentally delete as spam...something like Jeff Strand's "Seriously Whacked Newsletter." (http://www.jeffstrand.com) I considered "Seriously Whacked II," but those lawyers have me looking at things in a whole new light.

Send your entries to contest@bleser.com and I'll pick the best of the best. The only rule is that you can't use an apostrophe in the title. Why? Because for some reason Author's Den doubles up the apostrophe, making it look like I'm too stupid to know the difference between an apostrophe and a quote.

So, think of something cute and catchy with no apostrophe and you could win A MILLION DOLLARS! Oops, again the lawyers have advised me that humor is no excuse for avoiding litigious claims of misrepresentation. The truth is you can win a lovely ENCHANTED COTTAGE mug, perfect for holding pens, wildflowers, or the liquid of your choice.


*** NEW BOOK AVAILABLE ***

Great news! This week my newest romantic comedy, A LITTLE PIECE OF HEAVEN is the featured title at NBI (http://www.novelbooksinc.com). Visit the site and read an excerpt from the book, a new author interview, and my latest free short story, FIRST LOVE.

A LITTLE PIECE OF HEAVEN is a book that should appeal to both readers and writers alike. Romantic Times Magazine gave it 4 stars, saying: "Captivating attraction, quirky humor, and the quintessential of all twin tricks lay the foundation for this lively read....this speedy, upbeat novel is certain to add a ray of sunshine to the darkest day."


*** COMING UP ***

Next month Treble Heart Books will release my contemporary vampire novella, BRAKOS@TWILIGHT.COM. Here's a little teaser:

Roger Wannamaker spends his nights brooding over his lost vampire heritage. When he wanders into a role-playing chat room, he can finally become the man he was always meant to be - Brakos, King of the Vampires. But when he meets the woman who would be his queen, can he tell her who he really is, or are they destined to remain online lovers only?


*** What's Hot, What's Not ***

In my never-ending quest to hit the bestseller list, I'm researching "what's hot and what's not" in the marketplace. Here are a few things I've come up with so far:

- Cowboys are hot, pig farmers are not.
- Secret babies are hot, secret quintuplets are not.
- Marriages of convenience are hot, weddings in convenience stores are not.
- Amnesia is hot, forgetting what you're looking for in the refrigerator is not.
- ChickLit is hot, JuicyFruitLit is not.


That's all for now. Thanks for subscribing to my soon-to-be-renamed newsletter.

- Linda
http://www.lindableser.com
NAME MY NEWSLETTER: contest@bleser.com