EXTRA! – June 28

This is not my usual Saturday op - ed piece — you will have to wait until the 30th — but it is, you must admit, timely (apologies to Roger Ardston, my mentor.)

In case you think they have no clout, the AMA (American Medical Association) has sent a memo to Chief Justice John Roberts, revealing its own opinion regarding the Obama Administration’s health care package.

According to the memo, ALLERGISTS were in favor of scratching the whole plan, but DERMATOLOGISTS advised no rash moves be made. GASTROENTEROOGISTS had a gut feeling it might all backfire, but NEUROLOGISTS said the Supreme Court had a lot of nerve even tackling the thing in the first place; all except Justice A. Scalia who must be suffering from Primary Lateral Sclerosis.

Meanwhile, OBSTETRICIANS felt certain the Justices were laboring under a total misconception, and at the same time, OPTHAMOLISTS said the idea was shortsighted at best. PATHOLOGISTS screamed, “Over my dead body!” and PEDIATRICIANS shrugged, saying, “For God’s sake, grow up!”

PSYCHIATRISTS put their heads together and claimed the whole thing was madness, but RADIOLOGISTS saw right through it. SURGEONS washed their hands in frustration, while INTERNISTS shook their heads and said it was, after all was said and done, a bitter pill to swallow.

PLASTIC SURGEONS took a vote and opined the effort put a whole new face on the matter of badly needed national health care. PODIATRISTS said the court had put its best foot forward, but UROLOGISTS seemed pissed off. ANESTHESIOLOGISTS said it was a gas, while CARDIOLOGISTS did not have the heart to find anything but what the Court proclaimed.

In the end, however, the PROCTOLOGISTS won out, suggesting the Supreme Court leave the final decision to the assholes in Congress.

The INSURANCE INDUSTRY (a chief advisor to the AMA?) told everyone to just shut up and pay his or her co - payment.


Copyright©2012 by Robert A. Mills, all rights reserved