COLUMNS – March 23

I talked to my kid brother Jack on the phone in Spencerport one day late last summer, and he told me of a friend of his named Anderson who said she had her husband read my op - ed columns each week.

But he (my bro.) seemed amazed that I did not know them. Ironically, I personally know but a handful of the multitude who receives these missals. Should I use receive or receives? Is handful singular or plural? I am supposed to be a writer, ain’t I? Let me see: my good hand has five fingers on it . . .

Anyway, I do not personally know the majority of those who regularly read my columns, unless they are relatives or close friends. I do know, however, that if I charged a subscription fee (and only a third participated) I would make more than I could spend!

But I prefer to offer them for free. Why? I have no idea. I am not known as any sort of humanitarian or benefactor to my fellowman. In fact, most people consider me a rather piggish curmudgeon.

Be that as it may, these scribblings continue to be offered gratis weekly, and I am about three or four months ahead. I write rather quickly, notwithstanding I type with my left hand. Being right handed and disabled does not deter me. I spend eight or nine hours a day at my computer, six days a week, cranking out these columns or working on a new novel.

Since publishing The Better Angels in 2000, I have written five other novels, the latest a work in progress called Jesse! Of course, like all my books, it is historical fiction; Jesse! is based loosely on the life of Buddy Clark, the singer/actor.

An earlier novel, ‘Mate!, was under contract to a publisher; it was going through the unending editing and revision process, and I expected to announce its debut in a future column. As it turned out, I got tired of the runaround and told the publisher to go pound sand. All rights to the book have been rescinded.

Speaking of columns, they are submitted to Authorsden.com, which eventually sends them out as emails, either as a newsletter or a bona fide blog to an extensive list of interested subscribers.

Authors Den also archives previous columns by title and date for those who cannot get enough of me.

My bro. also told me the Internet may soon discontinue emails because its use has fallen off precipitously, due to texting, Twitter and Skype. I do not belive a word of it. Email will only go poof about five years after as USPS does!

I do not, as of this writing, have an agent. I would like to have one, if for no other reason than to peddle my books to suitable publishers. I have neither the time nor patience to blow my own horn. I am, of course, amenable to chatting about it with any interested party. I can always be reached through authorsden.com/robertmills.

These columns (or newsletters or blogs) are, if nothing else, therapeutic, as I have no desire or intention to write my memoirs. These then, are my memoirs; if my bro. or anyone else cares to compile them, go for it.

I have only one caveat: no changes or corrections, please.

I know re - writing is tempting, but you will have to overcome it. I did. Hyperbole and dramatic flair are serious fun, but nothing has greater impact than the untarnished truth. Most situations in which one finds oneself are dull, flat and unprofitable; I have always tried to be dramatically honest, even when the story falls short and becomes pedestrian. Luckily for me, most of my adventures are neither dull nor flat. What you get is what really happened. Mostly. To a certain extent.

Like my novels, my columns speak for themselves. Authors Den always sends a copy to the editors of the New York Times. They, of course, occasionally reprint the work of freelancers, albeit they have managed to ignore me for years. That is okay. As a moderate liberal, I will continue bombarding them each week until they wave the white flag.

As for you others, continue to enjoy my efforts until the muse no longer enthralls me. After all, it is free — like so little else in life. Enjoy it while you can. Even if you disagree with me. Which I suspect, most of you do.


Copyright©2013 by Robert A. Mills, all rights reserved