IT'S JANUARY ALREADY!!?

Feel free to forward this newsletter to your friends, family or anyone else you want to annoy. But if you do, all I ask is that you forward it in its entirety with full credit to me. After all, I'm gonna be famous someday, and you can frame it and say you knew me when. And my name is not Anonymous!


What's in this newsletter:

MY NONSENSE
GOOD NEWS
DON'T FORGET
SCIENCE BLURBS
BOOK NEWS
FREE STUFF


MY NONSENSE

This has been a crazy month. I decided to clean house.

Bad move!

The little Alien dust balls that live under my desk got very angry. If you know anything about Alien dust balls, you know you should NEVER make them angry. If they get angry, they multiply even faster and they--they--oh it's just too horrible--I can't go on.

Okay. Maybe I can go on just a little.

I tried to sweep them out, but they procreated so fast that I was up to my neck in little, green dust balls before I could find the dustpan. I don't know for sure what happened next. Everything sort of blurred, and I saw my life flash before my eyes. (along with a plethora of dust balls) Suffice it to say that even here in Roswell, NM (where the unexpected is expected) people were shocked and astounded.

I'll bet that in 50 years or so, the good people of Roswell will discontinue the UFO festival in favor of a festival commemorating the night that Joan's house...well...did what it did. (It's just too gruesome to describe.) They'll probably open a museum and have guest speakers who speak even though they have been sworn to secrecy by men in black trench coats from a branch of the secret service that no one has ever heard of called the UFH (Unidentified Flying House) task force. They will all try to unravel the mystery. It will indeed be a massive cover up by the government. I mean, after all, we can't have the public knowing the truth about--about "THE DUST BALLS."

The men in trench coats will have the remnants of the house from the "2002 Roswell Incident" in hanger 67 and it will have 24 hour guards. The Alien dust balls will be secreted away to someplace in Area 52 and preserved in large glass containers. Of course everyone will deny that they exist and even that Area 52 exists.

But hey, we can do the math! Add 67 and 52. You get 119. Add 21 ('cause that's the century we are in) and you get 140. Add 24 (for the hours the guards guard) and you get 164. Add the year, 2002 and you get 2166. Subtract 219 ('cause it works better that way) and you get...1947! Yep, folks. 1947! The year it all began for Roswell, NM. The Great, Little Green Man Conspiracy. (Except they are really little silver men, but what's a little discrepancy when you are making history?)

So there you have it, folks. The truth about the Great 2002 Roswell Cover Up. Remember, you heard it here first!

And for pity's sake, take it from one who knows--leave those dust balls alone. There are worse things than having a dusty house--trust me! Have a drink or two, and they don't seem so bad. In fact, after 4 or 5 drinks, they start looking pretty good. Come to think of it, that one over there in the corner is kinda cute. Hmmm--I wonder if he's married?
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GOOD NEWS:

I found my Muse! Yep, thought I lost her when I had to vacate "the house" so fast, but I finally found her snuggled in the box with all my books that I hastily packed as I was running...er--uh...leaving in a very lady-like fashion.

Couldn't write a word until I found her, but now, here she is, on my shoulder, good as new. So I am hard at work on my newest book, "Hells Hounds." Stay tuned for more news about that.

DON'T FORGET

EPIC, the Electronically Published Internet Connection, will be presenting the prestigious 2002 EPPIE Awards (In which my book, JUMP START YOUR WRITING CAREER WITH ELECTRONIC PUBLISHERS is a finalist), The Quasar to recognize the finest in cover
art, and the Florence Moyer Service Award to honor an individual, nominated and voted on
by the membership, for exemplary service to the organization.

The awards will be presented on March 16 at a gala banquet that concludes EPICon 2002 in
Seattle, Washington. For more information on the conference, as well as a list of all prior
EPPIE finalists and winners, visit http://www.epic-conference.com. Questions about the
EPPIE or EPIC may be directed to Betty Kasischke, EPPIE 2002 chair, at
annekas@aol.com.

SCIENCE BLURBS

GALILEO SPACECRAFT TO TAKE FINAL PHOTOS THIS WEEK
from The Associated Press http://www.nando.net/healthscience/story/219635p-2122056c.html

SCIENTISTS MAY HAVE DISCOVERED A MODEL FOR EXTRATERRESTRIAL LIFE
from The Washington Post http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A51981-2002Jan15.html

NASA ICE-PROBING ROBOT MELTS WAY INTO ARCTIC GLACIER IN TEST
from The Associated Press
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/news/archive/2002/01/15/state1517EST0091.DTL

Do you like science tips and articles? Try Ed Willett's Free science column.
Subscribe for free at http://www.edwardwillett.com/featuredcolumn.htm
Website: http://www.edwardwillett.com

BOOK NEWS

From The Latest News and Views from www.eBookWeb.org
Volume 2, Issue 2
Students put books on computer
http://www.ebookad.com/gonews.php3?newsid=2298

eBook Reviews
Read a good eBook lately? Post your independent review right here. (We
ask that authors or publishers not post reviews about their own books.)
Read reviews posted by other eBookWeb community members and find out
what they think of various titles.
http://12.108.175.91/ebookweb/discuss/msgReader$237

Are you a writer? Do you need professional editing? I recommend Harvey Stanbrough, Pulitzer Prize Nominee and publisher of HarMona Press. He is a very dear friend and an excellent editor. He is also the former publisher/editor of The Roswell Literary Review. Without his expert guidance and help, I wouldn't be published today. His advice helped me to write THE ADMINISTRATOR, an EPPIE 2000 Award winning Anthology.

Here is the info: His rates are comparably low, and his turnaround time is fast. If you are interested, you can send a sample chapter for a free edit/critique. He will edit and critique several
pages, then return it to you along with a per-page price quote. You will need to send the sample as an MS Word attachment, and Harvey will return it with color-coded editing so you can see and accept/reject each edit. Email: hmpeditor@hotmail.com. Website: http://www.hstanbrough.com/

FREE STUFF:
I just added more free stuff to my website. Free Puzzles. Free Greeting Cards. And you can always download free books and find links to free and almost free software at my site, http://www.sjoanpopek.com

Atlantic Bridge's Gift to You - download a great jigsaw puzzle!! FREE! Pick one, pick many, enjoy!! http://www.atlanticbridge.net/index.htm



Free games for the younger set. Each game is rated with a grade level. This is a fun site!
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/7134/
Get free animated graphics at http://www.animfactory.com/

That's it for now. Thanks for subscribing, and watch out for those dustballs.
Jo


Take a look at some of my books.
JUMP START YOUR WRITING CAREER WITH ELECTRONIC PUBLISHERS, an EPPIE 2002 Finalist, from Atlantic Bridge Publishing http://www.atlanticbridge.net/publishing/jumpstart.htm

THE ADMINISTRATOR, an EPPIE Award Winner & a Frankfurt Awards Nominee, from The Fiction Works http://www.fictionworks.com/etheadministrator.htm

SOUND THE RAM'S HORN, a Frankfurt Awards Nominee coming soon from Hard Shell Word Factory http://www.hardshell.com/

See them all and more at http://www.sjoanpopek.com/

Hear an excerpt at: http://fregalry.hispeed.com/jopopek.htm
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