Everybody has time and again experienced the unenviable situation of trying to placate his wife. This is a poem for that purpose and can work for girlfriends too.

I have to think of newer and newer ways to butter up.Whenever you get annoyed, Buttercup.Normally, I write poetry spontaneously and effortlessly but cannot even start,Whenever you get upset, SweetheartI will keep trying to get new ways to placate you till I dieAs and when you get angry, Sweetie-pie.My poetry may impress people but the fact is that poetry I may forever dropIf you ever permanently get upset, Lollipop.I can take anything in my stride but I cannot for more than a minute see you glum,What else can matter if you continue to remain angry, sugarplum.The way you have stood by me, in deference to you I am willing to take of my hat.How can I remain unaffected when you get upset, pussycat.From the way you have conducted yourself, I am truly smitten.How can I think of something else when you are cross, Kitten.I only hope that everytime you get upset I am able to offer a new sopMore than anything else, "Variety is the spice of life" in placating you, lambchop.Being the most important thing in practical life, a lot of people would run after money,I would rather spend time with you, honey.Where the other practical aspect Sex is concerned, I find you so sexyThat among other women for this purpose there cannot be any proxy.Too much poetry can get monotonous, I only wish I could singTo mollify you every time you get upset, darling