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Phyllis Jean Green

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Carve our Initials Next
by Phyllis Jean Green → (All Poetry by Phyllis Jean Green)
   Rated "PG" by the Author.
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--

      

        Carve our Initials Next

Drunk on playing hooky and Wild
Turkey, slip to the creek to make love,
oblivious to the danger presented
by sharp rocks and woken snakes.
Any minute now, a camper's going
to stagger from a nearby tent, waving
a flashlight with one hand, grabbing
his fly with the other.    Spy  us
and forget  to pee. So??  Got to camp
early, which meant time to take a dip
in the lake.  Wore out the kids, yay.
Add blackened burgers, couple cans
of pork'n'beans and s'mores, strictly
lights out.  Damp brown and yellow
cow-licks peek from Carolina blue
sleeping bags.  New tent plenty big
enough to rig a curtain. You two
dragged in enough sand for a castle,
we teased over s'mores.   Their turn
to laugh when I dropped my second
cracker.  Chocolate rolled merrily
down my new One tee.   Nothing
beats having kids.  Nothing
beats sneaking in a little us-time.
Jungle loving in skin that tingles
from a good dose of sand and sun.
Not that drunk.  Done, begin to chafe
where rocks dug and what-all.
We clamber up the bank, supporting
each other and feeling sheepish.
Not the brightest thing to do.  Nor
the dumbest,  our eyes meet to say.
What are a few scrapes and bruises?
Big stars wink in the spaces breeze-
tickled treetops open.  Temp 70,
humidity 70.  Big sites, nice folk.
Odd fly or skeeter, bit of grit with
your eggs and a rock or three, 's'awiiiight.
Just as long as time still stands still
while children sleepily open eyes
that they still believe a sandman fills.
Stay, World, stay.

     (c) Phyllis Jean Green,  May, 2008

 

 


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 Reviews of "Carve our Initials Next"
Reviewed by Gene Williamson
Reviewed on May 15, 2008
Phyllis, your controlled rambling (perhaps with A Wild
Turkey assist) captured the moments perfectly, the kind
of moments to hang on to and, happily, share. - Gene.

Reviewed by Randall Barfield
Reviewed on May 13, 2008
My, nice one. Hits the mark. Enjoyed much. The imagery is great. Grits? Who knows about those?

Reviewed by Mary Coe
Reviewed on May 12, 2008
Loved it. An excellent write.

Reviewed by Chantilly Lace (Reader)
Reviewed on May 9, 2008
Excellent writing sweet lady...have a wonderful and safe day...Hugs

Reviewed by Karen Palumbo
Reviewed on May 8, 2008
Awww, just love all of your sentiments on wanting to make the moment last longer. Camping with kids is wonderful and can be an experience to share later as the good times begin to mount and the bucket of memories is over flowing with love and laughter...

Be always safe,
Karen

Reviewed by Morning Star
Reviewed on May 8, 2008
Those were beautiful times
Stunning walked through memory lane!!
Peace Love and Hugessss...Morning star

Reviewed by Elizabeth Price
Reviewed on May 8, 2008
Lol. What a great poem. Love allthe alone time. A few bruises and bug bites. lol. What fun. Life was so easy with kids and spouse and love all arounds. Excellent. Liz

Reviewed by Gianetta Ellis (Reader)
Reviewed on May 8, 2008
Greatly enjoyed - very pleasing detail with a flow that's congruent with how fleeting these moments seem in retrospect.

Reviewed on May 8, 2008
Excellent write, Pea; brava!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :D

Reviewed by Bonnie May
Reviewed on May 8, 2008
You go girl...could picture it all. I was hoping beyond hope, you didn't get caught. Loved this...Bonnie

Reviewed on May 8, 2008
Richly imaged, I am lost in your world - Pea, the power of your pen! I have never loved camping, but will change my mind, if it's anything like this - as for carving initials:

kjd

(
\/ <---fingers slipped - was supposed to be a heart
) 's
pjg !!!!!

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.

Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan
Reviewed on May 8, 2008
this is so very beautiful--wht a sweet look into your life--love the cowlicks peeking out of sleeping bags!

Reviewed by Rose Rideout
Reviewed on May 8, 2008
I love this write phyllis, a walk down a precious mamory lane. Sounds perfect to me. Thank you for sharing.

Newfie Hugs, Rose

Reviewed by Felix Perry
Reviewed on May 8, 2008
This is such a lovely voyeurish look into what it really means to be parents and lovers. Such sweetness and also desire that make a marraige a thing that explodes with years of memories. Sweet.

hugs
Fee

Reviewed by Paul Berube
Reviewed on May 8, 2008
Pea,

WOW! Those were the days and the magical moments. Well worth the trip down memory lane. Peace, Love and Blessings Always, Paul.


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