Love’s Need

We love to alternate

Between being ourselves

And thinking of being someone else

So restless our souls

I

For one

Years past

Found my reflection

The hall mirror

The bathroom mirror

The window on a dark night

With candle burning behind.

I stared

Aired my grief

Till it exhausted itself

Then onto the fishbowl

Vibrate the waters with my angst

Scare Goldy out of her submerged wonderland

Purged some additional inner fire

At the snapshots of humanoids

Who had chosen to dismiss who I was

Remained stacked like losing cards

Yeah…

It all came down the conundrum

To love

Or not to love

To contemplate it better to have loved and lost

Than to have never loved at all?

I paced back and forth

Fist-clenched

Grinding teeth

Longing to be accepted

Was my nightly echo

Then…

As I found myself frozen still

As if the revelation

The idea so kindly

So…

So right.

I was speechless

Embracing the thought was enough

Outside

Daybreak

Snowfall

I pressed my face against the icy window

No reflection

As the me

The who I was

Have always been

Watched snowflakes

Languidly make their way

To the frozen birdbath below patiently waiting for spring

As it inhaled the dawning sun

And continued its daily shadowing

The grave of my affection

The giving that gave back

The ever-faithful reciprocating love

Knowing not the trying to be something he wasn’t

Totally satisfied over fourteen years

In being my four-legged companion

Where stick throwing was the highlight of our day

Where a sincere tail wag

Was met with hugs and laughter

So obvious was the lesson

So simple was love’s need

Such an epiphany still teaching me

To this day