Love’s Permanence

We love to alternate

Between being ourselves

And thinking of being someone else

So restless our souls

I

For one

Years past

Found my reflection

The hall mirror

The bathroom mirror

The window on a dark night

With candle burning behind.

I stared

Aired my grief

Till it exhausted itself

Then onto the fishbowl

Vibrated the waters with my angst

Scared Goldy out of her submerged wonderland

Purged some additional inner fire

At memory’s snapshots of humanoids

Who had chosen to dismiss who I was

Remained stacked like losing cards

Yeah…

It all came down the conundrum

To love

Or not to love

To contemplate it better to have loved and lost

Than to have never loved at all?

I paced back and forth

Fist-clenched

Grinding teeth

Longing to be accepted

Was my nightly echo

Then…

As I found myself frozen still

As if the revelation

The idea so kindly

So…

So right.

I was speechless

Embracing the thought was enough

Outside

Daybreak

Snowfall

I pressed my face against the icy window

No reflection

While the me

The who I was

Have always been

Watched early spring snowflakes

Languidly make their way

To the frozen birdbath below patiently waiting for the real spring

As it inhaled the dawning sun

And continued its daily shadowing

The grave of my affection

The giving that gave back

The ever-faithful reciprocating love

So obvious was the lesson

So simple was love’s need

Such an epiphany still teaching me

As this day

Is but a dawning of yesteryears teachings

Tomorrows warmth

Where sun will spring

The blooming of new petals

In waiting