I hate the Internet! Its speed is so deceiving.

I spend more time with downloading than receiving.

I'm not a guru or a sage, and ticking clocks dismay me.

So I await the computer's prompting, with those minute hands

And tiny banner advertisements that do not pay me.

I despise the haste of logging on, then passwords and deciphering.

Better use the world would get with cardboard boxes and recycling.

Don't get me wrong or misinterpret my belief.

It's just the world wide web entangles me and fills my life with grief.

Help assists me not, and patience gets no relief!

So I laud the day when the lights go off -

No clicking mice or dinging bells,

No blinking eyes or cyber yells -

The Internet is locked away,

And me myself and I go out to play!