Rock Face Repelling,
a hellish fall
djbeaulieu, 10-2007


I fell today. They say, “666 feet, straight down, without a sound.”
I remember bouncing here and there along the way.
I found the rock face to be hard, not at all forgiving in any way.
I fell all the way down toward the cold, cold ground, silently, without a sound.
With out a sound? Only me, I was bravely silent, but not the punches I received
from the hard rock’s face, or the thump when I hit the cold, cold ground.

I fell today. They say, “666 feet, straight down” – to my death?
Dam, not a hand basket to be found – how cold the rock’s face;
how cutting its barbs along the way – but what a hellish race
to my death, of course, to my death, of course, or perhaps just a rest.
Might I find an angel along this rock face’s debris?
God, I hope so, I really do not want to die this violent death.
At least, not today – it’s the fantasy; I do not think, I or my soul are ready.

I fell today. They say, “666 feet, straight down,” everyone held their breath
for it really did not take all that long, so no one passed out, except, may be me.
There was no angel, not this time. I was still locked into The Fantasy.
Yes, there I was at the bottom of the pit, like poor, mad Macbeth.
I had hit bottom – the cold, cold ground, but it was at the bottom of the pit.
And, like The Lady in White*, the great illusionist, was her second fiddle, Lady Macbeth.
Poor she, how she was crying and trying to use her tears to clean her bloody isopleths.

The fantasy, the illusions, the addictions – an escape into hell’s domain on earth.
Yes the fall is slow, long and deep, especially into Satin’s abyss.
But, most of us, will find that after a downward, spiraling repel there is a way out of hell.
And, soon we discover that we have more than shame, guilt, or loneliness - we have worth,
but we learn it at high price and often way too late to save, to repair, or to fix it.
But, we some how find “The Light” that draws us to the top. Ever so slowly, painfully, propelled.
I fell today. They say, “666 feet, straight down, without a sound.”
Here I am, though, alive, in pain, beaten, cut, bloody, but I’m alive and ready to fly.
I think, I have to say, I found my angel today.
djb

*-a symbolic metaphor for our addiction, what ever it is or they are.
See the follow up “Rock Facing; Ascension of Strength”

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in any form or means, without written permission from the author. Authored 1986.
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This is one of several poems that was created for a soon to be released book, "Rock Face Climbing - Pure Power."
It is about addictions the ones we all face, directly or indirectly. It is definitely male oriented.