Apollo Road (Book) - 3/26/2013 5:26:57 PM
Chris, I just stumbled on your page and book. I usually don't comment on other people's hard work and should just keep my comments to myself but the excerpt presented here, in my opinion, needs editing, cutting, revision and an expert's help. I found the whole passge totally unreadable because of grammer errors, repeated words (how can anyone use curse(d) three times in one sentence!), too much detailed descriptions which add nothing and generally questionable writing. Just get to the point: The most macabre site you ever could have imagined. Everything before is just fluff and does not add to the story. For example, who cares if bugs and mold had eaten through the carpet or there's a painting with a girl in a bikini? Please take these comments in the way they are intended as a help not as a hinderance.
