A Goddess Awakens Chapter 14 (Short Story) - 8/11/2014 6:57:24 PM
The chapter reads fairly well. If I had to offer suggestions for improvement it would be in rounding out the characters a little more, deepening them, making the emotions a little more complex. A little more attention to sensory detail--imparting more mood and atmosphere--wouldn't hurt either. Over all, good job.
A Goddess Awakens Chapter 14 (Short Story) - 7/14/2014 12:02:22 PM
thank you, Ronald. I've hinted at it in previous chapters, but have not brought it fully into play yet, but Anju is not a normal wolf.
A Goddess Awakens Chapter 14 (Short Story) - 7/14/2014 4:58:34 AM
I started your very well written chapter but didn't finish. I'm sure that you have a following, but stories about elves are just not my cup of tea. I saw a very few little errors that could improve story a bit. Like changing up "a small smile" to "a slight smile" once in a while avoid repetition.
I know this is strange, but while most dogs were domesticated from wolves, wolves cannot bark. Check it out. They make many sounds while communicating to their packs, but howling is one of their favorites. My little Pomeranian (whose story of his death I have posted here), was a barker and yipped a lot. I only heard him howl once. It was primordial and I was totally surprised that night when he suddenly got the urge and did a wolf proud. By the way, since your story is fanciful fiction, it's okay for wolves to bark.
Ron
A Goddess Awakens - Chapter 11 (Short Story) - 9/19/2011 7:39:48 AM
Well done. The end of this chapter surely lures the reader to turn the page and continue on.
Donna
A Goddess Awakens - Chapter 7 (Short Story) - 6/29/2011 6:42:14 AM
Excellent way to end a chapter ...... leaving the reader hanging is the perfect way to keep them reading on into the next chapter. I hope you have much success with your book. It sounds very interesting.
Donna
Back to School: An Early Adventure in Sorcery (Short Story) - 11/15/2005 11:03:46 PM
I wish we had arisas for all the filthy perverts swarming around! Great write Jeanne!
God bless,
Sandie.
A Goddess Awakens - chapter 3 (Short Story) - 7/29/2005 10:00:16 AM
good story, jeanne; will have to look at the others; stay tuned for more reviews! well done! :)
A Goddess Awakens - Chapter 2 (Short Story) - 3/19/2005 10:02:02 PM
A fabulous storyline! Keep up the great work. I look forward to reading the book once it comes out.
What A Drag: An Adventure in Sorcery (Short Story) - 3/28/2003 1:31:56 PM
i like your style, writer. i also sense the prose of a gamer, perhaps d&d, old-school style, with a board and die? this story was complete, i was satisfied by the end. i like the world of your creation, it evokes the timelessness of excellent sword&sorcery, which is a testament to your skills. keep writing!
The Ick Files I (Short Story) - 3/15/2003 10:06:16 AM
good write! :)
A Cat in Brazil (Poetry) - 4/5/2003 12:27:35 PM
i'm glad he missed...cat fur mixed with chicken ain't too good. :) adorable poem! (((HUGS))) and love, karla. plus, think of the sound he would have made...meeeOOOWWWWWWWWW!!! :)
A Cat in Brazil (Poetry) - 4/5/2003 12:21:08 PM
This was cute! *smile*
Sandie Angel :o) a.k.a. May Lu $*_*$
A Cat in Brazil (Poetry) - 4/5/2003 10:32:35 AM
cute! LOL love, your friend in texas, karen lynn. (((HUGS))) :)
Ode To Mary Lou Sawyer (Poetry) - 3/30/2003 5:57:42 PM
Nice tribute to a friend.
Well done.
