The Gift of Love (Poetry) - 3/22/2016 3:10:32 AM
''Broken and lost to oceans of tears''----BEAUTIFUL!!!!...''my undead heart for her''--- TALENTED!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! Liana Margiva
The Gift of Love (Poetry) - 2/7/2016 9:02:56 AM
I certainly didn't like the last line, making it a Valentine. The underwater metaphor makes good sense and I like it. The reference to her as a vampire was a turnoff for me.
Ron
The Gift of Love (Poetry) - 2/6/2016 9:59:10 PM
Great ending, you led up to that really well. I like the flow and the addition of different sea-related words in the first few stanzas as it tied it together nice. Good stuff :)
Contrast (Poetry) - 7/7/2015 9:07:42 PM
I have checked out your recent poem since you made some comments of my own recent one and thanks. You've got a good idea here and your treatment is interesting and inspiring. Part of what makes a poem good is the shock of the unexpected thought, like a kind of revelation, such as your last line: "Sitting there, where she has always been." But the language of a poem need to be spot on, in terms of enhancing the meaning. For example, not sure about "lighting blades screaming incantation." Overall, a fine effort. John
Train Dance (Poetry) - 7/7/2013 8:47:25 AM
I like this piece for the visual scene it portrays.
Return To The Stars (Poetry) - 6/8/2012 8:12:43 AM
I am seeing Van Gogh's Starry Night in these lines of written music, I am sure he felt as you do too. Don Mclean sang it,made us feel it, you have it too! I am seeing a Sirius Star before your horizon,don't give up on us! Bravo!
Teresa Walker
To Sea (Poetry) - 6/8/2012 7:58:00 AM
Zech,
To Sea or not to See, that is the question..I felt from the beginning the flow of the ocean, the waves riding high, and the torrents, as they crashed down, in these lines of written lyrics. There is a calm in the sea that flows from underneath, what others think, doesn't matter, you see, it is the peace after the storm that makes the color of the sea, a reflection of you! You are very good good, back to your thesaurus for the last line, it'll be a keeper!
Good work my friend!
Teresa Walker
Train Dance (Poetry) - 5/20/2012 10:07:19 AM
Lots of images pop to mind, and then they evaporate when they do not connect the
next line.
Ron
To Sea (Poetry) - 3/1/2011 4:27:49 PM
couldn't agree more ...
To Sea (Poetry) - 2/23/2011 3:27:02 AM
Being the same day in and day out, that is the secret. Nice write.
Cheers,
Dan
To Sea (Poetry) - 2/22/2011 5:14:15 PM
I enjoyed the depths of your writing until the very last line. I think the f-word robbed the poem of its value. Surely you could have chosen a more acceptable term for an otherwise worthy poem.
Connie
To Sea (Poetry) - 2/22/2011 1:48:13 PM
I think those last two lines basically say it all...;-) ed
To Sea (Poetry) - 2/22/2011 12:55:52 PM
Free to Be, that's undeniably the motto of a man
who is wise enough to know himself. You do have
a way with words, Zech. -gene.
