Death Comes to Christmas (Short Story) - 12/23/2015 5:40:59 AM
Interesting concept: Death comes knocking… The way you wrote it, Death makes the family happier because they forget about the loss of their father with this man around the house. The idea of flying doesn't seem to fit in with the rest.
Good use of editing here and there. I believe you meant that his face was, "pitted."
Ron
GLIMPSE from my book of shorties Flash Fiction Menagerie (Short Story) - 3/3/2014 10:28:49 AM
A very good story along the lines of Rod Sterling's The Twilight Zone. The ending is especially good.
However, the delivery falls short sometimes of the intent. The narrative is okay, but the action seems stilted and unnatural (like narrative). Knowing human nature, people do not readily respond to strangers shouting warnings unless they are simple warnings like "stop!" or "watch out!." You have to be more subtle and creative in the way that people are informed of someone else's premonition.
On the other hand, while I was perfectly content with my 1966 Oldsmobile Toronado, my father was always looking into in buying new cars and suggested that I look into replacing the Toronado with a bargain that the local Oldsmobile dealer had. The car he recommended was a powder blue 1970 Mustang convertible with a white top and a six-cylinder engine. I didn't even drive the car because I found it quite silly after owning the powerful Toronado that he would want me to buy a girly car.
Based on your story, sure glad I didn't buy that car that my father recommended… Déjà vu.
Ron
In Complete Darkness (Poetry) - 3/20/2014 7:58:58 AM
Nicely philosophical. I think it would be a matter of touch… And I sure like touchy-feely!
The Voice has blind auditions. That is very interesting because often the judges find that the person singing the song looks nothing like what they imagine listening to them singing. In a way, Internet dating can be blind. Perhaps I should start a dating website where all of the prospective daters must not put a picture of themselves up, but only a picture of who they would like to look like. The results of dating like this would be interesting… Or is it already happening?
Ron
In Complete Darkness (Poetry) - 3/20/2014 2:56:09 AM
Beautiful poem! Yes, love makes the world go round. If you give others love, you;ll receive love in return.
May
In a Blanket of Love (Poetry) - 3/18/2014 8:15:32 AM
You're a very romantic guy. Stay away from my harem!
In a Blanket of Love (Poetry) - 3/18/2014 7:19:39 AM
A lovely poem about what true love is. You covered every aspect like a warm blanket.
Ron
In a Blanket of Love (Poetry) - 3/17/2014 8:25:52 PM
Wow! Romantic poetry on steroids! Well done!
In a Blanket of Love (Poetry) - 3/17/2014 4:52:23 PM
A blanket or quilt of love to keep warm. - Great idea!
Sandie
