The Helper (Book) - 3/24/2014 7:28:44 PM
Seems like an intriguing read...I can't wait to read this short story! Wishing many blessings! :)
Curse of Nilofer (Short Story) - 4/21/2014 6:56:23 AM
very interesting story, thank you for sharing
budd
Curse of Nilofer (Short Story) - 4/20/2014 7:37:53 AM
I like this story. A nice take on the "curse of the mummy" we so often hear about.
I think the story would be even better with some good editing, changing a few words here and there to make it more realistic. Why Miles didn't use the "functional digital camera" and other questions about protocol and procedure haunted me as I read.
In my second chapter of my book Alone?, I recounted the story of the Pharaoh, Seti II, as a prelude to later chapters where his DNA is re-created in an immortal in the future. A good reviewer told me to throw the "unnecessary chapter" out. I was fortunate to spend two days at the Cairo Museum and some time in the mummy room where I gazed upon the face of Seti II, and was amazed by his preservation.
I couldn't help making a few notes about errors in word choice. I will put them here. They are not all the errors so I really recommend a good editing before publishing elsewhere.
I think that the word, "strobe," may be the incorrect adjective for the light. "Titanic" may be too large a word. What "the" seeds were… Armed with equipment and bottles of lukewarm [bottles] of water,… The word, "cavernous" means very large, and yet getting into the tomb requires a very small entry. Why would "Miles keep the seeds?" Wouldn't that be against archaeological rules? They were in the hand of the mummy, and therefore, a very important artifact. "She" shook hands with Roger…?
Ron
