The Teacher (Short Story) - 4/12/2017 5:00:08 AM
Very suspenseful. Begs the author to write more about what happened. This scenario is very familiar and I've found it being played out in recent television shows where the hero seems to get in impossible situations like this where the real villain sometimes is within a cadre of trainees or buddies in arms. Reminds me a bit of the botched FBI raid on the mob conclave at Little Bohemia in northern Wisconsin in 1934.
I found your use of similes to be way over the top. It is an earmark of creative writing, but it can be overdone.
Ron
Untouched (Poetry) - 1/28/2016 3:29:53 PM
A virgin....she is not as rare as some cynics believe. It's a beautiful poem, and a woman who chooses God's plan for sexuality is a beautiful person.
I was visited by a young virgin, also 22, this week. Her heart's desire is to meet a man who loves God and will be the leader in spiritual things in their home. godly woman + godly man = godly marriage!
Connie
Untouched (Poetry) - 1/20/2016 10:25:49 AM
I agree with Jerry. I've run across women like that. Hopefully, she's changed her ways and your poetry now is less idealistic and more realistic about her.
Regardless, you touched all the bases of what men seem to want in a woman.
Ron
Untouched (Poetry) - 1/19/2016 11:36:56 AM
Working hard, she is, to be an untouched old maid.
Untouched (Poetry) - 1/19/2016 11:35:57 AM
Yep! That sounds like a virgin
An enjoyable write
Peace be with u
William
My Love (Poetry) - 1/18/2016 10:59:27 AM
I'm sure she likes this one because it pushes all the right buttons.
Those last two lines made me laugh. Are you texting to one another or are you just writing love letters?
Ron
Posted Note (Poetry) - 1/17/2016 11:59:22 AM
I could see you holding your own with this rap. Very creative and inspirational as I read.
Ron
Posted Note (Poetry) - 1/13/2016 6:14:06 PM
A fascinating poem, although I'll have to ask the Lord what's going on if it's like this when I get there. Your description is certainly different than what He tells us in the bible.
I just finiished reading "The Resurrection of Nat Turner" a novel. It revealed so much that was new to me. Thank God we are equal...the way He made us. Nat Turner and others like them were wonderful men.
Connie
Play (Poetry) - 1/13/2016 6:09:15 PM
Cute, Tyran, and so much more so knowing that it's about you and your little brother. It's great to read of how you are a kid again when you're with him!
Welcome to Authors' Den!
Connie
Posted Note (Poetry) - 1/13/2016 12:16:39 PM
Thank you Kindly, Jerry
Posted Note (Poetry) - 1/13/2016 11:47:24 AM
Very nice work here, Tyran . . .
