Bats In The Belfry (Short Story) - 3/8/2018 3:41:10 AM
I enjoyed this tale of adolescent adventure
AMBULATORY DECEASED, ALMOST (Short Story) - 2/28/2018 12:37:23 PM
This is a good beginning for a novel, clairvoyance makes for a lot of good plots and scenarios for a good Samaritan. I enjoyed the story, you could easily expand it into a full novel.
AMBULATORY DECEASED, ALMOST (Short Story) - 2/28/2018 2:30:08 AM
Interesting premise for a budding superhero whose clairvoyant visions have potential to save lives. I enjoyed the story.
AMBULATORY DECEASED, ALMOST (Short Story) - 2/27/2018 11:07:43 AM
First time I ever heard of somebody getting hurt by a shout… ;-) It is one of several small typos and word errors that you could easily remove.
At first I thought it was going to be another zombie story, but it turns out to be the fantasy of "visions before the act." I have visions too. Usually in the form of a dream/nightmare. I wake up with the thought that they are actually real, but they are not. So, I can write short stories from them. But, like zombies, visions that actually predict real occurrences, don't exist.
What does exist are people walking around with bullets in their brains. I remember a guy who came into the police substation in the rough Tenderloin district of San Francisco complaining of a headache. When they x-rayed him, he had three bullets in his brain. Except for the headache, he didn't seem to be impaired in any other way. Good remember how he got the bullets.
Ron
A WOLF, RAVEN AND WIZARD (Short Story) - 10/23/2017 4:11:12 AM
Your story has cool levels to it. The root of wizard is wise. The wolf is the source of man's best friend and the raven can mimic a man's speech. Pagan religions were the source of eternal, spiritual life.
What the story says to me is that when we are ready to leave this world, we should be allowed to and not restrained. And, the gossips of the village got what they wished for without having to pass an ordinance. It seems like we don't like town characters very much. But after they died they become local legends.
Men and birds have about the same lifespan.
Ron
MR. MARSHLANDS MAGNIFICENT STROLL THROUGH MYSTYWHEN PARK (Short Story) - 10/16/2017 9:08:49 AM
Your story has a certain wistful and nostalgic air about it.
One could surmise that Mr. Marshlands didn't vanish, but went off to join his Anasia For eternity.
Ron
If It Ever Gets Out (Short Story) - 10/15/2017 2:06:06 AM
Horrors! I guess the old adage holds true--"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."
If It Ever Gets Out (Short Story) - 10/14/2017 7:45:52 AM
Reads like someone who has read too many diabolical mysteries involving Satan. The ending is supposed to titillate, but turned me off.
"I had be taken," should have been I have been taken. There are other errors in wording and punctuation throughout that make it hard to read. My impression is that writing a thousand words means that one either takes shortcuts in writing or writes very fast… Hence, all the errors.
Ron
Nothing You Can Say Or Do (Short Story) - 10/11/2017 5:18:04 AM
a well written tale where the turn of tale is not guessed before you were ready and yet you leave the final question unanswered, left to the reader to discern
budd
Nothing You Can Say Or Do (Short Story) - 10/10/2017 10:07:26 AM
An intriguing story. What happened to the baby was never answered.
A few typos related to past/present tense,, stop the reader in process."I had duck[ed] into one of the aisles." "She screamed and step[ped] back, falling then to her knees." "You smile[d].” and "Yes[,] I am a wealthy man."
Ron
Nothing You Can Say Or Do (Short Story) - 10/10/2017 12:32:49 AM
A riveting story from beginning to end!
