Ghost roommate (Short Story) - 9/21/2026 4:37:43 PM
A feel good ghost story… Rare these days.
So the ghost was Glen's memory trying to tell him where his report was. Cool.
Ron
Deadly infection part 03, Shoot her in the head (Short Story) - 9/8/2026 7:54:48 PM
Again, fast paced and gripping. But the normal zombie are walking dead scenario where the virus is passed by biting another, similar to the vampire scenario.
The rapid infection seems to be another characteristic of this type of story so that it can move along quicker and become more horrific. You didn't seem to write any sympathy into the story of what Angelica understands as she's becoming from being a devoted hospital worker to zombie craving human flesh.
The three parts don't link together very well.
Ron
Deadly infection part 02, Hikers (Short Story) - 7/18/2026 1:09:03 PM
My short-term memory is getting so bad, that I didn't remember reading Part 1 back in early June. When I looked for it I saw my comment. My sleepiness probably contributed to my not remembering. Zombie stories are not my thing, but I've been watching the movies and every episode of The Walking Dead, has preposterous as those walkers are.
So your story fits into the genre. The first thing that I noticed was that Torkal was shot by the police across the canal in real time, with Daniel and Hannah seeing him.
They then drove on some distance, and came upon him on their walk on the loop trail. I can even a zombie end up on a trail apparently miles past where he was seen earlier. You need to fix that someway. Unless it's a part of the looping of the trail that I didn't understand.
Otherwise it's pretty straightforward and standard horror without anyone surviving. If Turco and Hannah eat Daniel, I assume he no longer exists, but the two of them, refueled, crawl on out of the ravine and eat other people they can catch.
Ron
Incidentally, it is very interesting to see, in The Walking Dead, that almost anything within a hands reach can quickly dispatch a walker by ramming it into its brain. As though there was no skull that would stop even the sharpest knife if someone tried to stab somebody in the brain that way. Only a bullet or a sharp object with massive force behind it…a hammer…could break through the skull and reach the brain directly. Any blow to the head of any significance causes trauma to the brain…but to a zombie, a walker?
A cabin by the lake (Short Story) - 7/8/2026 1:44:12 PM
Hello! I just finished your story, and I loved every bit of it! Your writing is so engaging, and I couldn’t stop thinking about how awesome it would be as a com. I’m a professional commissioned artist, and I’d be honored to adapt your story into a comic format. no pressure, though! I just think it would be a perfect match. If you’re interested, you can reach me on Discord (laurendoesitall) Instagram (elsaa.uwu). Let me know your thoughts!
Warm regards,
lauren
Interplanery invasion (Short Story) - 7/3/2026 2:35:14 PM
The whole thing starts out preposterous. Human troops entering the atmosphere of an alien planet as though it were a landing of marines on a distant shore.
And only three (30?) robots to do the fighting against an entire planet? The armaments were standard earthly fighting power, man-to-man, but didn't seem to have anything that would face an alien enemy.
So when it ended up being a game from using Xbox, it makes all the sense in the world. Those scenarios are simply of no value if face with a threat from a real alien existence. The very word, alien, implies very different.
Ron
PS. By italicizing thoughts from the narrative, it is an easy way to show when they appear compared to the rest of the discourse.
The stranger (Short Story) - 6/30/2026 2:50:19 PM
I'm confused. Was it really Fredrik's first date? Or just his first date with Josefin? First dates are usually for teenagers. A dinner and movie date are usually reserved for someone older that can afford dates like that. But I'm not in touch with what young people do these days.
And the ghost of Jason was cool. Making the story one to think about.
The discussion of the food court made me think about the all you could eat restaurant on the way to Minneapolis. What we would call a smorgasbord.
Ron
Deadly infection part 01, Patient zero (Short Story) - 6/6/2026 1:26:56 PM
So that's how zombies are created…an exotic insect bite. I thought it was by a bite from another zombie. But the virus was probably mutating and moving from zombies to insects. Soon the whole world would be zombies.
It was fast paced. Gave me a sense of believability. As the stages of Torkel’s existence changed in a quite believable way. Leave me the writer wondering at the end…a sequel?
But late in the afternoon reading the dense formatting nearly put me to sleep. I hope you can find a way of indenting the first lines, double spacing or some other way of making it easier to read without my eyes crossing.
Your best so far,
Ron
Deadly cargo (Short Story) - 5/15/2026 3:13:49 PM
Without indents on the paragraphs or line separations, the text is very dense and hard to read.
I don't like ghost stories, but I like your writing, generally. I understand your translation problems and this one has many. So you need to have it thoroughly edited again.
Without " marks, conversation is not separated from description. Your descriptions tend to be more like a screenplay where you are directing the actor’s movements, followed by the action…what the actor says.
Finally, the premise is rather standard. A deadly ghost gets free from its confinement, and kills everything in sight because there is no way to fight it. Why I don't like ghost stories. As far as I know there has never been a true story of a ghost ever killing anyone except in fiction where it is rampant.
Ron
The rock (Short Story) - 5/15/2026 10:10:34 AM
Thankyou ❤️
The robbery (Short Story) - 4/11/2026 9:58:50 AM
It didn't seem right for Sweden. But then didn't mass murder either until that happened at the camp that time–Terrible.
Your initial description was rather flat, and followed American movies and myth about the way bank robberies are done. So, it wasn't interesting, until the tables were turned with that surprise ending. I really liked the ending, but a careful rewrite of the buildup to the robbery would keep the reader interested to arrive at that cool conclusion.
Ron
Much of nothing (Short Story) - 2/8/2026 1:28:42 PM
I love that picture of the plant growing out of the camera.
You have captured the fate of those who clock in and out and don't have enough to do all day or completely boring work and can't wait to leave soon after they arrive every day. Unfortunately, those jobs are prime targets for consultants who come in and make things more efficient by laying people off… permanently.
From another viewpoint, when the work orders suddenly get all organized on the desk, Linus notices that each time that happens, that sapling grows taller. But the clock still shows dragging like you show in the story.
As though Linus is now in a time warp where everything is not what it seems.
Ron
Santa (Short Story) - 12/24/2025 1:55:12 PM
Wishful thinking. It's amazing how many young people cry out every year for help and are ignored by the police.
In stories like this and movies, we cheer on the vigilante who takes the law into his/hands and solves the problem. But we are of people of law. It's better to prove wrongdoing correctly rather than instantly blame someone dropping in on the scene and then, act.
Ron
The cave (Short Story) - 11/17/2025 10:53:05 AM
The story started out to be pure fantasy. The one of creatures and ghosts. But the twist at the end verified that it was not. Perhaps a true encounter.
Only one thing that I would change. There are no man-made caves except for movies. A cave is a cave and a tunnel is a tunnel. But if the cave is not like any other kind of cave formed a naturally, I would just leave it like that. A strange kind of cave that seems unlike any other.
Ron
Reflections in Still Water (Short Story) - 11/15/2025 12:25:44 PM
Certainly filled with suspense and great visuals. But I'm not much for monsters in the woods, so it's not my best kind of story.
As I read, I thought maybe the scene of the guy being ripped apart was a part of a movie being shot there. You weren't alone, but you were deceived by what you saw and what was following you was actually a runner for the director to ask you if you wanted to participate in the movie.
Ron
Struck by love (Short Story) - 10/13/2025 9:55:34 AM
You need to reload your image in a smaller version. To read the story I had to make the story fill my 24 inch screen.
But it was a cute story and I love it! Perhaps it is true?
I have found that women are most loving when we are hurt enough to go to the hospital or recuperate. Their nurturing nature kicks in.
Coincidentally, a high school friend of my brother and mine came over to our house one day to show us his new hunting bow and arrows. Fortunately, he was only carrying his target arrows and not the razor tips used in deer hunting.
On the way over on his bicycle he was holding the arrows across the handlebars when one of them fell down from his right hand and rammed into his right thigh about 3 inches. I can't recall what happened after that, but I believe he made it to our place where we bandaged him up. No love involved in this case. He was such a klutz (German word for really awkward).
Ron
Struck by love (Short Story) - 10/7/2025 3:17:22 AM
Lovestruck indeed! It was the jolt you needed to talk to Linda.
The roof (Short Story) - 10/1/2025 2:05:57 PM
This one is much better written. Fast paced and with little Side description that is distracting like instructions to the director in a script.
But again, a fanciful monster that tends to be quite common in movies these days. Why Torvald and you decided to shoot at it didn't seem to be a wise thing to do.
In the end if you were so badly injured, were you in a hospital in Ukraine or in Sweden? And was it just a dream you had while being injured at something else.
Ron
The hunting trip (Short Story) - 10/1/2025 12:51:46 PM
As I read the story, I can see some struggling with translating between Swedish and English. If you can get someone who is well-versed with English to help you with editing. Something that would be necessary before you should try to publish this story.
Throughout, I sensed that you were over writing. By telling in detail the circumstances and even the emotions of the actor, you burdened the story with excess words rather than subtly putting those modifiers as you wrote about the action. Some of the modifying sentences looked like they were prompts for a screenplay.
And, in some cases, there were great leaps in subject with no transition. Again, probably just a lack of translation knowledge.
I'm not much for a horror stories. In this case the visitation of a tortured to death woman carrying out revenge in discriminately through another woman, is the kind of story that I think those who can't get enough of this kind of gore want to watch or read. I prefer something more psychologically subtle. Rather than outright fantasy.
For many readers, just the idea of big game hunting is a turn off. You could have them going on a camera shoot instead.
Ron
Red crystal (Short Story) - 9/30/2025 11:00:59 AM
Quite an exciting read in english as well as Swedish.
